Geeky Law Mom

Whoa. Dude.

2012-02-10T09:03:00.000-08:00

October? That was my last post? What has happened to me!?!

Okay, so 2L happened. What a weird year this has been so far. Last semester I did the least amount of work ever and got higher grades than before. I read for class exactly one time (for one class) and it just happened to be the day the prof canceled class halfway through. Still, I pulled very very good grades (for me). Maybe I am hitting my stride with exams or time-management? Who knows, but I am having a good year. Things are very busy though. I wasn't supposed to keep my job through the school year; it was only intended to be a summer thing. When my bosses' paralegal left suddenly I couldn't just leave them in the lurch, so I stayed on. It was super stressful because I was doing the Innocence Clinic and it required 10+ hours per week. So 10 at work, 10 at clinic, 15+ in class, plus study time, plus 5 at my on-campus job. There just weren't enough hours to get it all done. So studying took a backseat, because I would much rather spend time with my daughter than study.

Speaking of Abby, she turns 3 this month. Holy crap. I cannot believe that is happening. She talks in mile-long paragraphs now and has started inventing stories. Sometimes unfortunate ones such as the other day when I was doing dishes. She wandered into the kitchen and said to herself "No mommy, don't hit me!"

Uh, what the hell?

So I said, "What, Abby?"

She replied, "You threw that at me in my bedroom and you broke it and it hurt."

Uh, what the hell?

I finally realized she was playing pretend, but I was kind of freaked out. Was this something she overheard? Was this a pretend that she was TELLING PEOPLE?!?! OMG.

I am terrified (from work, which has addled my brain) that she will say something like that to the wrong person and I will find DCFS at my door. YIKES.

In other news, I decided to quit my job. The idea of staying was to help them out and make a bit of cash, but I want to use my summer continuing to learn about defense and even represent some clients (we have a 3rd year practice rule in my state) so I asked my bosses if they thought they would have something for me to do.

They said they didn't think so and I began hunting for something else. Trial Ad is ramping up soon and I won't have time to train my replacement if they don't hire someone quickly, so I told them to get on that. I got an interview with a public defender's office which will happen on Tuesday. I am super excited!! I have always pictured myself in a public interest role, albeit originally I thought it would be prosecution, and getting a clerkship with this office would be so awesome. I hope the interview goes well.

That's pretty much it. I am plugging along and really enjoying my classes this semester. I am taking a health law class which is outside my track but seemed interesting. At first I was horrified by how philosophical it is, but now I am REALLY enjoying it. See? I used all-caps. That means a lot.

Trial Ad is super fun but a little scary. We meet at night once a week in small groups and do things like cross-examine each other. It's a little nerve-racking but we always laugh a lot at our mistakes and learn something. The best part is that the small-section professors are adjuncts who are actually practitioners. Mine is a defense attorney I have long admired and it's awesome to get to learn from her. Especially because her firm is prestigious and I wouldn't have a prayer of getting a job there.

Hopefully I can be more dedicated to blogging, but I am not super optimistic!

Fitness Challenge and Family Pictures

2011-10-16T21:32:00.000-07:00

Here is the status of the fitness challenge. Mostly it's not even started yet, we're starting tomorrow. Some people hadn't gotten back to me with their goals so I decided to delay it a bit. Things often don't go to plan, but I am still going to lose the weight so I don't care if other people need to procrastinate.

My progress thus far is pretty non-existent. I haven't worked out that many times, but I've been more mindful of my eating. During school Istopped buying lunches and started making them. This weekend I put some jeans on I haven't worn in months. I weigh the same, but I seemto be a bit thinner. I'll have to get on the ball if I want to losesome pounds.

Finding time to work out is really difficult. My schedule is ridiculous, but here is what I am trying to aim for:

Monday Evening
Tuesday Afternoon
Thursday Afternoon
Friday Afternoon

Then on the weekend do at least one physical activity with the family.
This weekend we're going to take Abby and go to a corn maze! It should
be awesome.

Last weekend we got some family pictures taken. I think they're a good way to gauge where I am and where I hope to be.

Progress

2011-10-04T06:59:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was the beginning of the fitness challenge. I got up at 7 to run on the new treadmill, only to discover that I couldn't find my inhaler. For the first month or so that I'm getting in shape I need to use my inhaler about half an hour before working out. Not a great start to the challenge! My goal is to lose 30 lbs in 90 days. It will be hard and I already feel like I need to step it up. It's only been one day! I shouldn't be so hard on myself.

The new treadmill is great. When I got home from work last night I went downstairs. It was TOUGH to drag myself down there, I was so tired. I watched last week's episode of How I Met Your Mother while I ran, so I was plenty entertained, but passed out on the couch immediately after dinner.

I feel like I never get enough sleep. We sent Abby off to Nana and Papa's house for the weekend and got plenty of sleep, which oddly made us feel worse. Last night after working out I had a little nap, then got up and got ready for bed. I didn't get to sleep until 12:30 or so, then had to get up at 6:30 and get to class by 7. I hate morning classes. I'm tired, but I feel better than I normally do. Maybe the exercise helped?

Priorities

2011-09-27T21:24:00.001-07:00

This week I had a bit of a nervous breakdown. I was hormonal from taking Clomid (which did not work on the first try, sadly) and feeling generally overwhelmed. Abigail is so amazing, I have a hard time imagining having another kid. I sort of love our little family just how it is, but I think another one would be great too. It’s just hard because with trouble ovulating, school, being over 30 (I know, I’m still young, but I worry. Do you know the odds of having a Downs baby after 30? Google it. It scares me.) and everything else going on I was just feeling very stressed. I talked to my husband about it and we decided that with my weight (nearly as high as it was when I delivered Abby) and stress levels I need to do something or I will be in trouble in the future. I have about fifty pounds to lose and all efforts to make positive changes have failed. I have great intentions, but a workout routine just never seems to materialize. If I can’t do it in law school, how am I supposed to do it when I’m an attorney? Not to mention that pregnancy will go a lot better if I’m not a) so out of shape any effort induces asthma symptoms and b) so fat that the baby is statistically more likely to be large and my chances of gestational diabetes go up. I’m actually having trouble sleeping at night due to my weight.

Recently, like within the last two months or so, my abdominal muscles gave up. I now have that Thing that fat people have. Up to now, I have managed to skate by with the weight distributed all over. This means I may be considered “obese” but because I’m tall with a small waist and big boobs I still look pretty damn good naked. Now, The Thing has appeared. You know The Thing. People at bargain basement stores in sweats driving around on little motorized shopping carts have it. People who’ve had multiple pregnancies (at once I mean) have it (provided they don’t get free tummy tucks like Kate Gosselin did, the lucky duck!). The Thing is what those 80 dollar Lane Bryant jeans are intended to hide. I really wish I had bought those instead of the 30 dollar equivalent at another store. The Thing is what you USED to grab onto when you were a skinny teenager and you relaxed your stomach muscles, because it was dramatic to pretend it was fat and not relaxed muscle and skin, and now I can grab it even when I’m flexing my hardest and standing up straight. It HANGS. I had gotten quite used to nothing HANGING. Are you disturbed? Because I am. Enough to do something about it. I just hope my body can recover, I’d hate to start selling myself in exchange for plastic surgery.

Today I bought a treadmill. I’m not sure if I have blogged about our last treadmill and how it tried to KILL every person in my family, but suffice it to say it got returned to the store. I felt defeated (and pissed) and decided I needed to go to a gym instead. I’m pretty sure that was almost two years ago now. This new treadmill is SO pretty. It has an iPod jack and built in speakers and it does interval training. Do you know what that is (and how awesome it is)? Basically, it makes you go slow/fast slow/fast over and over to help you build cardiovascular endurance. This is the best and quickest way to train your lungs and prevent asthma attacks. It helps you be able to suddenly do stairs without passing out. And, it’s great for weight loss. Just when you catch your breath, it’s time to run again. You don’t feel bored, because your pace changes every minute. Some people prefer incline intervals, but I like speed intervals. The point is, this is the kind of training I like. If I’m going to form a new habit, it needs to be something I like. Once I’m in good enough shape, we can talk about doing the kind I don’t like, but for now, I’m just going to set some goals. I would really like to run a mile without stopping. And then 2 miles, then 3, and so on.

I’ve been thinking of starting a Biggest Loser competition with my friends, only instead of competing for most amount lost, we just compete to meet our individual goals. If you meet your goal, you win. If you don’t, you lose. And then the winners divvy up the prizes. I’m worried about trademark though, anyone have a suggestion for a parody of the name? How about Biggest Schmoozer?
Anyway, that plus lots of law school is what is up with me.

Mondays

2011-09-19T12:30:00.000-07:00

Obviously Mondays are difficult. This week is especially difficult because this weekend was The Game. Our big rivalry game happens every year and since our rival is a church-owned school the game is known as The Holy War. I think that's a bit silly, because we have plenty of religious people at our school, but we're still known as "the heathens." I made sure to live up to this title with copious amounts of tequila all weekend. I was hoping I was pregnant but feeling decidedly NOT, so I decided to take the risk. I took a test last night and it was negative, although it was a bit early. I still don't think I'm pregnant, so I won't let the 10-plus margaritas make me feel guilty. It was a lot of fun, although I was beginning to feel slightly hormonal and grumpy. Looks like I'm in for a rough day tomorrow as well, assuming the Clomid is going to make my cycle a little more regular.

So why am I making you suffer by hearing about my menstrual cycle? Because I am dealing with that (and obsessing over it due to the attempts to get pregnant) AS WELL as law school.

I'm not a fan. I'm really not. In fact, I'm rethinking the whole thing altogether. Pregnant during law school? (While working two jobs and raising a toddler?) Am I completely insane? Why would I do that on purpose? Why can't men have babies?!?

Still, I feel like it's now or never, and I don't know if I want my daughter to be an only child. What to do? I would say we'll just see what happens, but dealing with things like Clomid and periods and hormones and grumpiness is really tough while managing everything else. I'm not totally convinced it's worth it.

2L Year They Work You to Death

2011-09-13T07:37:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure if they will all turn out to be true, but they say 1L year they scare you to death, 2L year they work you to death, and 3L year they bore you to death.

Thus far 2 out of 3 seem to be true.

I am finally starting to get a handle on my new schedule. Things have been completely insane. I'm a big fan of lists, partly because I am too tired to write full sentences right now. So here's a breakdown of what's been up with me.

1. I have a class at 7:30 in the morning. YUCK.
2. I'm working two jobs which only add up to 20 hours a week but having two things other than classes which are tightly scheduled is KILLING me.
3. Abby really misses me and cries sometimes when we drop her at the sitter.
4. I had a blood test which showed I do not ovulate (or at least not regularly)so I am now taking Clomid.
5. Round one of drug-induced baby-making commenced this past month. We'll see in a week or so if I got pregnant.
6. I am now a redhead, which is pretty crazy as it takes a whole lot of bleaching and coloring to make it so. I am finally getting used to the new hair. People seem to like it. Sorry the pic is so blurry:

7. I got my case for the Innocence Project. I am excited to get working on it. Our project has gotten TWO exonerations this year which is a new record.
8. I like all my classes, which is more than I can say for how I felt at the beginning of Spring semester last year.
9. I like being a 2L a lot, but it's still weird to think of myself that way.
10. I have the most amazing husband in the world. He has become the maid, the cook (aka food delivery boy), and the majority parent. He is wonderful and I am so grateful.
11. I have decided to apply for other summer gigs as a backup. I like where I am working, but it would be nice to get paid for full time work. We'll see what happens.

When you put it all in a list it doesn't seem like that much. I guess I should quit whining.

I don't want to go back to school. I can't wait for school.

2011-08-01T17:31:00.000-07:00

I am so completely torn about school. On one hand, I miss my law school friends terribly. I also miss financial aid. A lot. On the other, I get to do basically everything my boss does, the only exception being that I can't make appearances and I have to stamp his name on documents. I feel all lawyerly and I like it.

But, I am getting tired of working so many hours. I miss my family and coming home before 6:30. I miss cooking dinner and suddenly we're almost through with grilling season and we've used our grill only about 5 times.

This fall I am going to try and keep the firm job (if you can call one lawyer and his partner who just took the bar and won't be admitted until October a "firm") and be a Westlaw rep. My classes aren't too heavy, so I am looking forward to them. I really think I can handle it all but I see many mental health days in my future.

And then there is Abby, my amazingly adorable, precious, little girl. I've decided to be a bit more personal on here, so here is a picture.

She is just so fantastic. She counted in Spanish the other day from one to ten. I didn't even know she could do that. We've been working on potty training and her language skills just keep getting better and better. She still goes right to bed with no fuss and rarely any argument. She sleeps through the night with only the occasional nightmare. I cannot believe how lucky we are.

This month we realized we had run through our savings and that suddenly our lack of full time paycheck for me (or the financial aid I normally get during the school year) had put us in a tough position. We could have done a cash advance on a credit card, but I really didn't want to do that.

So, at 2am on Saturday, I decided we should have a yard sale in the morning. I got up and collected items and posted listings on craigslist and our local newspaper. By noon, we had made 300 bucks. This took care of our immediate financial problem and I felt very accomplished. Sometimes you just have to get creative, now if we can just hold on until school starts we'll be in good shape until next summer. Knowing now what I didn't know then, I will be more wise about how I spend my financial aid.

*sigh* I love fall and I love "back to school" but the idea of being stuck in a classroom again is kind of bumming me out.

Identity

2011-07-28T21:42:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I long to post completely openly, honestly, and uncensored. I want to write something that has been well thought out, and maybe even be beautiful or eloquent about it.

I want to share things about myself, my family, my work, my law school experience. I don't want to hide behind pseudo-anonymity. I don't want to worry that a client ten years from now may read a post about my religious beliefs or upbringing or a personal story that somehow rubs them the wrong way.

Part of me hopes that if a potential client does so much research that they find my personal blog they will understand that I am a human being, not just a defense attorney. Part of me says that if someone reads something I've posted and becomes so offended they choose not to hire me that I don't want them for a client.

I will never work in a huge law firm and if by some chance I do, I don't want to work in a place that is so concerned about their image that a personal blog from my time in law school will keep them from hiring me.

I don't post drunken photos, crass language, or highly-polarized statements. I try to keep things light and relatively neutral. But what if I want to vent one day? What if I want to talk about how my choice to leave all organized religion has resulted in the most happy, fulfilled existence I could ever have hoped for?

Will this ruin my chance at some future, unknown success?

Or will holding it in and avoiding my own identity do the same thing?

Is it better to be honest and open now, which produces happiness?
Or to be stifled and afraid for now so that at some magical future date I will be "too big to fail"?

Pigeonholed

2011-07-19T15:06:00.000-07:00

When I was preparing to register for my 2L year, I knew a couple of things for certain. I definitely wanted to do the Innocence Clinic, and I wanted to get some practical criminal defense experience. The Criminal Clinic offered during 3L year sounded good. It will allow me to appear for clients under the 3rd Year Practice Rule in my state. It also has several pre and co-requisites which have completely dominated my schedule.

Doing these clinics means that my entire schedule is criminal law, with no room for other stuff. This seems like a mistake, given that I want law school to at least teach me SOME stuff that will be on the bar.

What to do?

Right now I have a HUGE schedule in the Spring, so big that I know I will hate my life. I need to trim it up somehow, but I'm not entirely sure how to do it. My boss said he is happy to supervise me during 3L so I can still do appearances, so perhaps I should not do the criminal clinic?

So Classy

2011-07-06T17:39:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I went into the courthouse and as I was walking through security I observed a woman in a very tight black suit with a slit up the back so high it left very little to the imagination. She had long blond hair and looked like she could be an attorney. She was friendly with the bailiffs and seemed to know her way around.

I soon realized why she knew her way around so well.

After checking the docket and realizing our case didn't appear there, we got in line to talk to the court clerk. In front of us was a young man and his father. The same woman we had seen in the hall got in line behind us. Before we knew it, we were caught in between the two parties screaming at each other.

"You perjured yourself, sweetie." She sneered at him, tossing her hair.

"Do I know you?" asked the guy. He seemed legitimately confused. The son turned around and obviously recognized the woman.

"It's pretty clear that class your kid took didn't do him any good. He's in trouble again of course. And now you've written a letter to Mr. Johnson* and perjured yourself."

"Ma'am I have no idea who you are or what you are talking about. Who is Mr. Johnson?"

"Oh yes you do. And you're going to pay for what you did."

"Okay. Whatever."

At this point she really starts to lose it, screaming at the guy and continuing to call him sweetie, which he does not like. Finally, the kid says something in reply about the woman. It dawns on the dad who she is.

"You're a terrible father!!!"

"I'm a terrible father? YOU hosted parties and gave your kids alcohol. You'll NEVER get your kids back!"

"Yes I will! AND YOU KNOW WHAT SWEETIE?!? You're A LIAR!!!"

A young woman in line behind the dad, in front of us speaks up. "I'm not a part of this, so I'd really rather not hear it."

They ignore her, of course. The dad, who seemed like a good guy, tries his best to keep his cool.

"Your son is going to PRI-ZUN! This case is going federal, sweetie!"

"What case? He has no cases pending."

"Yeah, well, you just wait. This case is going FEDERAL!"

At which point the guy asked the court clerk to have the woman removed. We were lucky to get out of there before that went down.

Fast forward to the next day.

I'm sitting in the waiting area of the county jail, because they've decided not to let me in, only my boss.

The jail waiting area makes for great people-watching.

A woman sits down next to me in a bright pink sundress with long blond hair. What is it with blonds in this town?

She proceeds to dramatically sigh to no one in particular, saying "OH MY GOD!" periodically. She's far enough away from me I don't think she's addressing me directly, and people around her are basically just ignoring her.

After ten minutes of this (followed by "It is SO hot!" and dramatically fanning herself and stretching out) she decides it's time to redo ALL of her makeup.

She is obviously there to see some guy, and she's acting totally nuts.

They call her name, and she goes up to the counter.

"What's wrong?!"

"Ma'am, he's refusing to see you."

"WHAT!!!!!!!!" And she proceeds to freak out.

"Are you KIDDING ME?!? Well he's just made my decision FOR ME! He's not getting ANYTHING from me when he gets out. I CAN NOT believe this!"

She tells every sheriff about how this "asshole" has slighted her. The only sympathy she gets is from the prisoner-account clerk, who advises "Don't give him any money."

"Oh he is not getting a PEN-NEE!"

And so on, until she stormed out.

A little advice. If you're pushing 50 and you still wear inappropriate little sundresses and keep your hair bleached and to the bottom of your back, you might recruit a certain type of suitor. Act psychotic and those suitors will be grateful when they end up in jail and can avoid you altogether.

*A fake name. Also I don't remember the real name.

Why, Bill???!!

2011-06-28T13:21:00.000-07:00

My boss does free consults if people call in. He recently got one I just had to share.

"How can I help you?"

"Uh, yeah, so I got one for ya."

"Okay... tell me about your situation."

"I took care of this guy's dog for FOUR MONTHS. Do you know how much that woulda cost him if he had to kennel it?"

"Are you in some kind of criminal trouble? This is a criminal defense firm."

"Well what I want to know is, see, I took care of this guy's dog for FOUR MONTHS."

"I see..."

"And then he DIDN'T EVEN INVITE ME TO THE WEDDING!"

"Uh huh..."

"So I wanna know if I go git a sign and write 'Why, Bill?' and just go stand out in front a his house, if that's breakin the law. Can I git arrested?"

At this point in the office a crowd has gathered. The other partner and myself are stifling giggles as much as possible.

My boss informs the guy that he has a right to free speech, but if he's trespassing or if the guy calls the police and they ask him to leave he may end up with a disorderly conduct charge. They love using that as a catch-all in our state. He says that some things just aren't worth the risk and maybe he should just write a letter telling the guy how he feels.

We are still trying not to crack up. The guy reiterates his desire to WHY BILL the guy in front of his house. My boss again tells him that he has a right to free speech without the cops interfering, but that while free speech is important there is still risk involved. Even if he goes to court and wins it will cost him money and time etc.

The guy relents and hangs up.

The other partner tells my boss, "You are MURDERING our right to free speech! MURDERER!"

We all laugh and now pretty much any time anyone asks me to do something I do a very dramatic, "WHY BILL?!?! WHYYYYYYY!?!?"

Preschool? ALREADY??!!!

2011-06-28T12:55:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I had the bright idea of checking in with the daycare/preschool in Brian's building on campus. We had put Abigail on the waiting list there over a year ago, and hadn't heard anything. Not surprising, there are very few facilities and 30k students, plus who knows how many university employees.

However, in the past year Brian has switched departments from the medicinal chemistry department to biology, which just happens to be the department that runs the daycare. I looked on their site and realized that contrary to what I previously thought, university employees do NOT get priority wait list placement. BIOLOGY employees do. Since we now fit in that bracket I sent an email over to check our position on the list and inform them that he works there now.

Suddenly, we have a spot if we want it! Which I think we do, but I am suddenly terrified. I could use some advice from ya'll on this one. They have a strict sickness policy, which, due to have the-best-babysitter-of-all-time I've never had to deal with before. Abigail loves her SO much and I hate to pull her out of that, but she is also very advanced for her age and I think a pre-k environment will really help her bloom.

We're trying for another baby so it's possible we could get our sitter back working for us full time down the road, but she'll have to find another job in the meantime.

The daycare looks great. It's a co-op, so I go in and help out a few hours a month and that secures RIDICULOUSLY low tuition. 8am to 6pm for only 700 bucks a month. It's awesome. We pay around 900 right now. It also includes lunch and a snack. The program looks great, they're big on being diverse/tolerant/Green. All things I am a fan of.

The biology building is a two minute walk from the law school, and my hubby will be right upstairs. It seems like a no-brainer but I am scared of the change. Help!

I was thinking maybe we could give our sitter a bit of money per month to just handle emergencies, but that's only assuming her new job is just finding another kid to watch. If she goes out and gets a different job altogether, I just don't know what we'd do. She is THAT good. I really want her to watch the new baby but I'm not even pregnant yet.

THIS is what parenting does to you. Makes you worry about every little thing. I really wish I could call my mom and ask her opinion, but she's on chemo and today is a sick day. Damn it.

Help!

Be The Change You Want to See

2011-06-26T14:55:00.000-07:00

Okay, I am losing it. Well, I was.

I started writing much bigger checks to my babysitter when the internship started. I don't know how it happened. My boss would pick me up at 8, we'd be in court all day, and then working (and having a ton of fun) in the office until 6. Or 7. Suddenly I realized that we were eating out all the time, which was really hard on us because the university screwed up our first two paychecks. I was super happy but Abby was missing me so much that she stopped sleeping through the night. I felt tired and grumpy and frustrated (and hungry). People kept saying things like "get used to it." As if all lawyers work 10 hour days. Guess what? MY BOSS DOESN'T WORK 10 HOUR DAYS! And he isn't even asking me to do it, I just sort of started working that many hours on my own.

Because I LIKE the job. I love it. I could live in that office if I had no other responsibilities. The problem? I am not getting paid to do this. My boss appreciates me and compliments me all the time, but he only pays me for 10 hours a week for the business-building work I do. Like creating a Wordpress blog for him and coding it to match his existing website. Or doing bookkeeping or collections work. I'm not getting paid to work a 50 hour week so I really shouldn't be doing it.

I resolved that I will not work more than 8 hours and if it's slow I will duck out early. Because you can ALWAYS find things to do, but I'm there to help, not to change his life. Yes, I would like to grow the practice to secure a paid position eventually, and yes, I do love it. But I need to keep my family a priority and remember that these years with Abby are already going by so fast.

Plus if that kitchen floor doesn't get mopped soon I think I will need to hire a criminal defense attorney because I. WILL. KILL. SOMEONE.

Should I Go to Law School? Part Two

2011-06-08T14:43:00.001-07:00

Last semester I posted about deciding whether to go to law school or not. You can find it here. Now that I have some internship experience to draw from, I thought it might be good to do an updated version of the topic. I know many of you are recently accepted and trying to decide whether to make a seat deposit or not. I remember this time last year sitting in your place, and feeling completely panicked and hopeless. I called every person I knew and asked for their advice. Most of them said the same thing; "I can't tell you what to do." My mom really wanted me to go, because that's what I had always said I wanted to do. Friends said it seemed important to me. I looked back and tried to remember. HAD I really been that certain that law school is the place for me? I began seriously compromising my dreams to justify my fear of law school. The expense of it, all a gamble given the current legal job market, began to weigh heavily. I'm getting law school much, much cheaper than most people do and it's still a lot of money to owe at the end. I worried that I would be endangering my family's well-being by taking this risk.

A friend told me that he would kick my ass if I didn't go to law school. The language startled me, because he seemed so much more passionate about it than I felt after months of listless pondering. His passion was fueled by memories of me, waxing on about the law and what I hoped to accomplish by working in the field. I decided to go for it.

From the moment I sat in the (very uncomfortable) wooden chair in the moot courtroom of the law school during my first day of orientation, I knew I had made the right decision. Now, with my 1L year behind me, I can still say that I love law school.

Was it difficult during the first year? Absolutely. Sometimes tedious. Sometimes frustrating. Often overwhelming. I thought I would love Criminal Law when it came time to take it, and ended up really hating it. It's the field I want to work in so I was very disheartened to find that I enjoyed Property and Constitutional Law immensely, and hated the very thing in which I planned to work. I decided to take an unpaid internship for an attorney in criminal defense. I would let the practical experience determine if I was in the right place. I knew right away that it totally is.

Many attorneys complain about tedium such as doing legal research in a big firm. There is a lot of paperwork and it's long, long hours. I knew right off that big law was not the life I wanted. I found something I was passionate about and tried to direct my studies that way. I love criminal law. I love defense work. Meeting people and hearing their stories, going to court, and doing the best I can to improve the system is exhausting but very fulfilling.

To decide if you want to go to law school you need to have an idea of what kind of work you enjoy doing. If you've never had a job and are going directly from undergrad, I highly recommend working the summer before you start law school. It does not need to be legal work, but do SOMETHING. I knew that I don't like to be micromanaged. This tells me I will prefer small firm work or owning my own business. Working for the government such as legal aid could be okay, given you can generally manage your own cases, there just happen to be a lot of them.

I also knew that I liked dealing with criminal matters, and took some criminal law classes in my undergrad to explore this area.

If you don't find an area of law to be passionate about, and decide what kind of environment you flourish in, you will do yourself a major disservice if you spend the money for law school.

Don't borrow a ton of money for law school with no idea what being a lawyer is like. Get in touch with volunteer mentor attorneys from your law school (they may be willing to meet with you before you accept admission) and ask them what an average day is like. What do they hate about their job? Have they worked in other types of law? Go tour a law firm and see what they typically assign their interns to work on. Do some research and make sure this is the kind of thing you can do for the next ten years at least, because if you accrue the student loan debt and can't go work somewhere else making comparable money, you're going to be stuck in law for quite a while.

For me personally, I LOVE my job. I love what I do every single day. I am the type of person who will pitch in and do whatever people ask without being annoyed or bored. I'm happy to file, take dictation, fill out paperwork, generate and edit documents, get coffee, whatever.

If you aren't that type of person you will have to learn to be, but some people just can't handle grunt work. Now for me, being a self-starter with a personality built for owning my own business, grunt work is just par for the course.

I guess what this rambling is intended to convey is that you should really know who you are before you consider law school. This doesn't mean that you have to be closed to changing who you are, but that you should make decisions based on building a lifestyle for yourself. It would be a mistake to make a major decision like this and be stuck in a lifestyle you hate solely because you accrued 100K (plus) in debt.

Good luck, feel free to comment and I will reply.

Equality

2011-06-05T21:42:00.000-07:00

Today was the last day of the Pride Festival in Salt Lake City. What an experience! I volunteered to help man the booth for the OUTLaws club, which is the LGBTQ club for law students. We run a free legal clinic once a month for LGBTQ issues like custody, divorce, medical directives, wills, discrimination, etc. We have a lot of great attorneys out there who donate their time, but we need more clients. We really got the word out today, I even made those who didn't have cash to donate promise to tell five friends in exchange for Mardi Gras beads, buttons, and candy.

Pride was awesome, and a great place for people watching! I saw one queen who was wearing the most amazing outfit. It was made of that plastic astro-turf stuff that people put on the porch of their trailer or patio, and was a full gown. GIANT platform shoes and a hat made of a giant piece of wood. The wood was done up like a front yard with a white picket fence going around the edge. It even had a pink flamingo. It was epic.

I love that the law gives so many opportunities to serve. Hopefully the traffic at the clinic will go up, because I know there are people in Utah dealing with legal issues related to their sexuality and gender who are unaware of the resources available. The attorneys who volunteer are wonderful and really want to help.

Today one of my lesbian classmates was saying that she loves Pride because she gets to feel so "normal." I asked if that meant that she feels normal being around other gay people. NOPE! She meant that she gets to feel normal because she doesn't dress like "those" people! There were some real statements being made and it was fun to laugh about how fierce and brave they all were while simultaneously cringing. One guy was wearing flip flops and tightey-whiteys! NO JOKE.

In any case, it was a great experience. I managed to avoid those protesting the festival, so for me it was just a total love-fest. It's great when you get to feel like you are making a difference.

The Internship

2011-05-19T15:06:00.001-07:00

Yesterday I started my internship, working for a criminal defense attorney. In addition to teaching me legal stuff, he is letting me help him grow his business. Since I have a background in technology and internet marketing I have a lot to contribute. The awesome part is that we get along so well and he is SO enthusiastic to have me around. We bounce ideas off each other and I get to nerd out by reading case files as big as phone books. It's swell.

Yesterday I got to read said case file, do a client intake, learn their legal software, and check the status of the co-defendant's cases related to the phone book-sized case. (The witnesses hadn't shown up so they'd been dismissed, potentially affecting our case.)

Today I got to drive out of state (2 hours each direction) for a ten minute pre-trial conference which will be resolved by affidavit, come back, go to court for a motion hearing, AND get a massage IN THE OFFICE. It was awesome. It may not sound like a lot, but in between hearings and other tasks we talked a lot. I learned about pending cases and we exchanged stories. It was really great.

Tomorrow? Pre-trial conference for a case and arraignment for the phone book case.

I love this work. It's exciting and different and I genuinely like meeting the clients and doing my best to help them out. Sometimes it's a completely unfair messed up charge, sometimes they did it and you do your best to mitigate the consequences. Either way, it's a huge learning experience.

My goal is to increase business so much they can't live without me. :)

This weekend I have homework. I have to do research on personal breathalyzer tests. You get two guesses how I am going to do that.

Tiiiiiiiime is on My Side

2011-05-09T12:36:00.000-07:00

YES IT IS!

This is extremely weird. I have nothing to do in the evenings. No obligations, no homework. I don't start work at the law firm until the 18th. Every night, I can do whatever I want, provided the toddler is fed and kept alive generally. We've been playing trains a lot in the evenings.

My friend's bachelorette went off without a hitch, and I had an amazing time. I think everyone else did too. There is something incredibly surreal and amazing about being in an 80 degree swimming pool under a crisp blue sky on top of a snow-capped mountain. Lola and I went up after our last final (Property, and it was a bitch). We picked up groceries and stocked the full kitchen in the suite and then went for a swim. We got some quality time together celebrating becoming 2L's. It was extremely relaxing and fun. Then we went back to the suite and started getting ready. I had arranged for a professional photographer to come and take vintage style pinup photos. We got ourselves all dolled up and waited for the rest of the girls. Once the bride arrived, we got her all ready. It was a really great night, filled with champagne, margaritas, and laughter.

I'll post a couple of photos on here for now, just so you can see me and my best girls. There were a couple of my besties who weren't there, but we had such a wonderful time and thought of them often. I must say, I got pretty good at doing vintage hair.

Me and Lola.

Lalalala Lola!

Me and Amelia.

Suzy Q.

Me and Suzette.

And finally, here comes the bride, Justine.

dormant Person Power

2011-05-03T00:06:00.000-07:00

Today was the ConLaw exam. I kicked it into high gear and studied and felt really prepared going in. It went really well I think, but I felt that way about CivPro last semester and only did okay. Although in that class there were only 20 of us and a mandatory curve, so I should be happy to do as well as I did. So I guess the moral of the story is we'll see!

In other news, I've been offered some pay for my summer job. I am very excited about this, as it will help offset the cost of daycare. Plus, my new boss is so fantastic and I am really excited to work with him. I'm going to take a week or two off to spend with Abby before starting and be a bridesmaid in a friend's wedding.

I am really excited for Friday (not because of the Property final). It's my friend's bachelorette party and I've planned some really awesome things. We're staying in a swanky suite and we're going to get all dolled up and possibly hit a club. We have something special planned but I don't want to ruin the surprise just yet.

I've been building up my work wardrobe and it's been helping with my confidence a lot. We're starting at our new gym tomorrow and I'm going to work really hard to get in shape. Being pregnant while out of shape sounds like a terrible idea. I'm going to drop a bunch of weight and get my lungs in better shape.

An added bonus is the new bag I got this week. I haven't had a bag large enough to handle my new laptop. I certainly don't want to show up to work in a suit carrying a backpack like some kind of schlub. So, check this out! I feel so fancy. Click here for a link.

Bliss

2011-04-30T17:11:00.001-07:00

Today I am in a zone of bliss. I've actually been studying for my ConLaw exam (an improvement from CrimLaw last week) and I feel like I'm maybe starting to get a handle on it. Things at home are great. I did a ton of spring cleaning last week, which makes hanging out in the basement (that's where the Law Cave is) much nicer. The upstairs was driving me insane because it's not as clean, and then The Mad Scientist went and cleaned up the kitchen. He even mopped the floor and then proceeded to dance around in it, rejoicing at how his feet were NOT sticking to the linoleum. Yeah, law school puts a major damper on my OCD cleaning and organizing. It's sad that I am looking forward to my internship because I know I can come home and COOK AND CLEAN at the end of the day. Yep, I'm progressive all right.

In other news, we've decided to get pregnant again. I visited the doctor and got off birth control and now we are officially trying. We figure we will try to avoid getting pregnant during times where it will put my due date during exams, but other than that we're just winging it. I figure it will be better to do this while in law school than once I'm out, and no time is really a good time so we may as well go for it. I feel extremely happy about this decision, though I hope I can drop the weight I want to before I get pregnant. It took a really long time last time around, so maybe that means I'll have some time to get in shape. I'm hoping the summer will give me a chance to exercise more (perhaps on my lunch hour?) and drop the pounds.

I have this vision of returning to school in the fall looking so good people don't recognize me. Of course all I have to do is open my mouth and people will be like "OH YEAH IT'S YOU."

That reminds me, I have a tiny rant. I am what is considered a "strong personality." Lately I am more and more realizing that this is code for "bitch", which is really upsetting. It's a tactful way of saying that I hurt people's feelings with absolutely no intention to, I can rub people the wrong way, and people feel intimidated by me despite my best efforts. It's something I struggle with and work on a lot. What upsets me is that for those "weak personalities" (hey, if you can say I have a strong personality what is the alternative? But "weak" does sound pejorative...) it means they are often upset with me and don't feel like they can tell me so. So nothing gets resolved and they just resent me, while I go on oblivious. It's SO frustrating. I don't say anything mean to people (and try to avoid saying anything mean ABOUT people) and yet they infer a "tone" in what I say. I am very direct. I don't say one thing while meaning something else. I'm not a catty girl who says she is fine but doesn't mean it. If I have an issue I address it, but 99.9% of the time I give people the benefit of the doubt and don't get offended if someone sounds bitchy. I just assume they don't mean to offend me and let it go. Why can't these people do the same for me?

Okay, end rant. For the most part I just let those people go on with their lives without me in it. I care about people and if they find themselves hurt by me (even if I have no intention and can't do anything to prevent it) I don't want them to have to feel that way. Unfortunately this means there are just some friendships I can't have, and it hurts.

So, back to ConLaw studies! I just finished my outline so now I'm just going to do a practice test and enjoy my evening. Good luck to everyone on their exams!

Dreams of Dooce

2011-04-28T13:38:00.001-07:00

Hello Interwebs, I've missed you! I'm sorry I've been away, it's just that my criminal exam was making me want to hurt people. And by people I mean myself. And by myself I mean my bank account. Shopping is a great way to procrastinate. So CrimLaw is done, and now I have to prep for ConLaw. Which makes me want to hurt people. And by people I mean my Playstation. Because the fricking network outage means I have no Netflix on my television and it makes me want to hurt people. And by people I mean... well you get the idea. Law school makes you violent.

So, due to stress and finals and sickness and all that lovely crap (yes, I said lovely crap) I have been having SUCH bizarre dreams. More than usual. Some of them have been about my male classmates and would make my mother blush. Which is saying something because I am not entirely sure anything CAN make my mother blush.

Last night, I dreamed of Heather Armstrong from Dooce.com. We're old buddies you see, in that she lives in my neighborhood so I've run into her exactly TWICE. But that isn't how my brain works. No, my brain turns two random encounters into a RELATIONSHIP. I dreamed that we took our toddlers to a baby party thingie and she offered me a ride home. In one of those SUV-limo thingies. She had some errands to run and I was so desperate to see their new house (which sounds amazing IRL) that I agreed to tag along and help out. Our girls played and seemed to get along, so we decided to make a day of it. When we got to the house it turned out to be this enormous red brick converted firehouse! I got the grand tour and kept thinking to myself how I must be experiencing what it's like to be cool. Because they are cool, Heather and Jon, and maybe I could be cool by being in close proximity? After the tour she went and grabbed me a small gift bag, which contained some swag an adoring fan or adoring corporation had sent to her. "Thanks for keepin' me comp'ny." She even remembered my name and introduced me to Jon.

Okay, seriously. My dreams are whack. But if anyone could renovate an old firehouse and make it the object of everyone's jealous desires it would be Dooce herself. I'm not a crazed fan, I promise. I just have extremely odd dreams. Does that mean I won't scan the neighborhood for signs of a looming red brick house? No, it does not.

It's A Plan

2011-04-15T10:37:00.000-07:00

This morning at 8AM sharp every law student got online and tried to register for classes. Most filled up in about 1 minute. It's insanity, you guys. We have SO many course offerings and such limited space that many are small sections. Which results in full classes, very full classes. I had my schedule all planned out with a backup version in case I didn't get into the most popular classes.

I hit the button at 8AM and it all went through! Others have not been so lucky. I'm sure in some ways my very specific career track gave me an advantage. Not everyone wants to do almost all Criminal classes. I wanted to dabble more, take some things in other areas so that I could be sure of my field. But the practical clinics I want to do have a ton of pre-requisites and they are all criminal. I also wanted to avoid a particular professor, who happens to teach in that field. He's a great guy, but his personal ideology is so opposite of mine and it does affect the course. Anyway, I ended up with Evidence, Pre-Trial Prep, ConLaw II, and Innocence Clinic for Fall and Legal Profession, Trial Advocacy, Moot Court, Innocence Clinic, and Criminal Procedure for Spring.

I'm happy it's done, but it's weird to have the next year of your life planned out already. It should be comforting to a Type A personality like me, but it's not.

I also got permission to work at the pro bono catchall clinic each week this summer. Basically there are free legal clinics for Criminal Law, Family Law, Rainbow Law, etc. and this one is for everything else. We do a lot of contract issues, landlord-tenant, employment etc. It's always interesting and always teaches me.

I got rejected for 2 of the 3 things I've applied for this fall. I'm disheartened because I was more than qualified for them and I know the decision came down to grades. It's frustrating that your whole legal career hinges on one semester of grades! Yes, I can get better grades later, but not getting these positions puts me at a disadvantage when applying to other things later. So in the end, grades really do matter. I had a real chance to contribute and they were shortsighted enough to just snag the top 10%. LAME.

Anyway, I have so much planned it won't matter, but it would have been nice. On the super duper good news circuit, Brian was offered a new position at the university. My 50% tuition discount is secure!

Oh. My. Goodness.

2011-04-06T10:10:00.000-07:00

Okay that isn't exactly the language I used, but you get the idea.
Today was a huge day for University of Utah. We had Chief Justice
Roberts scheduled to come and preside over our moot court championship
round, along with our former professor and recently appointed 10th
circuit judge Scott Matheson, and the chief justice of the Utah
Supreme Court, Christine Durham.

This was to take place at noon in the performing arts theater on
campus. So I thought it was semi-odd that the security brief they sent
out the night before told us to keep our bags in our lockers/carrels
instead of bringing them with us to class. Which was weird since he
wouldn't even BE in the law school. Carry my laptop in the halls
unprotected? YUCK.

This morning was a mock oral argument of the appellate brief all 1L's
wrote this semester. We have oral argument next week, and the teachers
thought it would be nice to see some upperclassmen show us how it's
done. Imagine our surprise when instead of a writing instructor, the
Chief Justice HIMSELF walks out to preside over it.

AWESOME you guys. SO awesome. After the arguments, we had 30 minutes
left and he offered to answer questions. There are only a hundred of
us and in the moot courtroom it's a very intimate experience. He was
like, 20 feet from me and I kept thinking this will NEVER happen again
to me in my lifetime. He was funny and self-deprecating and SO smart.

Apparently they had some time to kill in the morning. I guess he isn't
a skier, because he opted to spend that time with us instead. He got
the problem 3 days ago. MY problem, you guys! I will do better in my
oral argument next week because of questions posed by the CHIEF
JUSTICE OF THE SUPREME COURT OF THE UNITED STATES.

All caps, I know, but I thought my heart would BURST.

What an amazing surprise, I can't believe they pulled it off.

What is scarier?

2011-04-04T21:33:00.000-07:00

The fact that I have only two weeks left of classes and I still know ZERO criminal law, or the fact that I signed up to sing at a LAW SCHOOL TALENT SHOW on Friday. Yeah, THIS Friday. And I just signed up TODAY.

ACK!!!

I am singing a very difficult song, because I figure if I am to be humiliated forever at law school, I am going to do it singing MARTINA MCBRIDE.

AND USE ALL CAPS. A LOT.

So things are getting crazy. I got proactive about finding a different internship for the summer, because my original deal didn't seem to be working out. The attorney was so busy and I became concerned that he wouldn't have time to really mentor me. So, I found a few other opportunities. I accepted an offer today and I am very excited. I think that this will be a much better fit for me. The attorney and I talked like we were old buddies, and it's super close to my house. I am even considering putting my fat butt on a bicycle to get to the office every day. WHOO!

I also applied for two fellowships for this fall and I will know by the end of the month if I've been accepted. I am actually quite excited for this, because Brian has been rehired at the university which means with the fellowship I could potentially have free tuition. Half off is nice, ALL OFF IS BETTER. (That's what she said.)

Anywho, things are looking great for summer. I'm going to get busy learning Spanish, do some criminal law work, and continue doing pro bono work at the summer clinics. All in all, I will still have time to take Abby to the park which makes for my ultimate summer.

I cannot believe my 1L year is over in just a few short weeks.

Winding Down, Heating Up

2011-03-12T23:58:00.000-08:00

As the semester winds down, things are heating up for me. I have some major decisions to make before summer rolls around, but it isn't so much rolling as crashing toward me like an out of control freight train.

There are a lot of trains in your life when you're in law school. I thought when torts was over I'd be free from railroad cases, but no, they pop up in ConLaw all the time.

The figurative train here is Internship v. Spanish Classes. My university offers an expedited program during summer, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to do it. It's been about five years since I took Spanish and I plan to be fluent before I finish law school. Every time I go to the immigration clinic to volunteer I wish I were fluent. It's time to get on it, and I have a feeling that I'm not going to have any more time on my hands as school progresses.

I'm excited by so many different opportunities it's hard to choose, but the general advice I've been getting is that it doesn't matter. I could take the summer off and spend it with Abby if I wanted to and it wouldn't affect my future at all, other than the fact that I'd be happy to have the break. That's the beauty of not going into Big Law, your 1L summer doesn't completely define your future.

I could do the judicial clinic, which would be cool, but I'm not particularly interested in it. I probably should be, but there it is. Judges in my conservative state, are somewhat contrary to my personal ideology. Working for one would be educational, but I'm not entirely sure how much I would like it. I need to work on that whole diplomacy thing, I guess.

For now, I'm focusing on my appellate brief. It's coming along, but I am getting pretty sick of the subject matter. If I never have to work on a religious discrimination case again I'll be glad. Once that gets turned in next week I'm off to Vegas for a fabulous vacation. I cannot wait. I may or may not spend some time working while we're gone, but I doubt it. My favorite professor told me not to do any homework over Spring Break. On Fall Break I worked 8 hour days outlining and still had to redo it all when I got done with regular classes. I'm going to learn from that and enjoy a nice vacation. 4 star hotels, room service, and time with my hubby. It just can't get any better than that. Exams should be a breeze after that.

Moot Court and Appellate Briefs

2011-03-06T13:24:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I acted as a bailiff for the moot court competitions semi-final round. I had been curious about the program, as someone like me tends to enjoy public speaking (I know, right?) and finds it 1000x more appealing than being on a journal. Rumors say that you should do one or the other if you want a shiny resume, but I just think it would be kind of fun. I did theater in high school and missed out on debate, although I did enter some public speaking contests. The downside of all of this is our school has made moot court and journals only 1 credit, which for the amount of work you do is criticized to be overly low. I had heard some upperclassmen talk about moot court and their tone was pretty negative (although I have a sneaking suspicion that none of them actually did moot court). I asked a team yesterday if they wouldn't mind answering a few questions about the workload and it's basically what I suspected. You do as much (or as little) work as you WANT to do. And it's one less final to take that semester. Seems pretty awesome to me, and I enjoyed what I saw. Apart from the judges, anyway. They were super intense and scary. They ask you really tough questions just like the Supreme Court would and try to catch you off guard.

The writing doesn't seem to be more than the stupid brief I'm working on right now, so I'm thinking I may look into it.

As for the appellate brief, I am not a big fan. I should be working on it right now. I had convinced myself I was going to spend all weekend on it and then Abigail got sick. Sick kid does not equal productive weekend. We have had so little sleep and frankly my mood totally sucks.

However, I am going to put some good effort into it right now and I have an appointment with my professor on Tuesday. After that I will have another meeting with him the following Tuesday and then it's due that Friday. Why should I stress? After that is done it will be Spring Break, and we are going to Vegas! (I will be outlining while we are there, but I figure that's a good thing. There is only so much gambling/eating/doing stuff money to go around.)

After that, only a month or so before exams! It's happening so fast, much faster than I thought it would. I'm sure with the weather warming up it's going to be tough to get work done, but hopefully I can stay on task and get this year done.

Oh, and by the way, here is the insanity I am dealing with. Co-hosting a friend's baby shower at the end of this month. Appellate brief. Volunteer clinics. CLASSES. Finals. Throwing a bachelorette party for a friend. Bridesmaid in the wedding for the same friend. Sometimes I think that actual classes are just incidental. It'd be so much nicer if I could just stay home and outline!

1L Spring

2011-03-02T13:20:00.001-08:00

I cannot imagine how law students with year-long, comprehensive finals in the spring survive. Sorry for the lack of posts, everyone. My 1L brain is fried from my measly half-year courses and their preparation. I got my rough draft for my appellate brief back. I have a meeting with my professor tomorrow and then I will spend the next three weeks being a ghost while I work on that.

It was Abigail's 2nd birthday party. I had a couple misunderstandings with classmates which left me feeling frustrated. I FINALLY started to get it in Property. Things are up and they're down and that is the world of law school.

A week ago I was complaining about being stuck in the doldrums of law school. This week I have had way more excitement than I ever wanted.

I cannot wait until it's summer and I just have to work a 9-5 job. Sounds like heaven.

That's What You Get

2011-02-14T22:29:00.000-08:00

WHEN YOU LET YOUR HEART WIN... WHOAOHOHOHOH!

So I took Friday off and traveled down south to where it is warm. It was fantastic. You never know how miserable the cold season is making you until you have a nice sunny day and don't have to wear a jacket. I had a lovely birthday dinner out with my parents and my sister-in-law (who lives in the area while attending school.) Spent time playing video games (my mother played them with me, which was SO bizarre) and relaxing. I even got to play some tennis. Remind me not to ever teach The Mad Scientist any games, because he will learn and then kick my ass from then on out. Still, it was really fun. The munchkin enjoyed seeing her Nana and Poppa after a long absence, and I did a bit of shopping. We drove back up on Sunday and went to the in-laws' for yet another birthday dinner, and I got a very nice gift from them. My birthday always seems to last for a month, it makes me feel really special. Plus I haven't paid for a meal in over a week. :)

On the way home the world came crashing down on me, in the form of The Plague. So I skipped class Friday and had a lovely time, only to reward myself with a horrible mucousy germ infestation. I'm sure I got it from Abby, but oh well, that's what parenthood is for. They really are adorable little incubators, aren't they? So today I showed up for ConLaw and barely stayed conscious through the lecture. I couldn't wait the 4 hours for CrimLaw so I came home and went to bed. I am missing way too much class this semester. It's horrible. AND my rough draft for Methods is due next Tuesday and I think I'm only half done with the research. It's a tricky problem involving employment discrimination, and I'm representing the defendant. I think legally we're on good footing, but I feel so GUILTY. It's not even a real plaintiff, but the idea of saying "Hey, the guy deserved to be fired, his prayer times were interrupting our staff meeting!" makes me ill. I'm trying to come up with a more positive "theme" for the paper, but it's a struggle. Currently I'm going with something like "We tried to accommodate him, but it just wasn't feasible due to the major market downturn we were experiencing." Yuck. I was hoping for a great case with analogous facts to make me feel better, but no such luck thus far. It must be buried in the other half of the research, which I haven't done yet.

I'm sorry if this is rambling, but cough medicine makes me extremely loopy. People at the 1L table were highly amused at me this morning. And I hallucinated that there was a very important movie in my Netflix queue I wanted to watch, but it was in Spanish and I couldn't read the subtitles because my eyes were too blurry. Looooopy.

Law School Madness

2011-02-10T10:04:00.000-08:00

There are two types of "madness" in law school. The first is the traditionally understood meaning of madness, or craziness. Law school can in fact make you crazy. The second (for my purposes) is the act of being mad. As in angry.

This week I am experiencing both of these things. I need a break. I am short-tempered and frustrated and stressed. And my rough draft for my final legal memo is due next next Tuesday (the 22nd). In response to my madness, I've decided to take the family away for the weekend. My parents have been traveling for the last couple weeks, (Arizona, Mexico, California, Colorado) and I want to meet up with them close to Vegas. We're going to celebrate my birthday and do some relaxing. Maybe, if the weather isn't horrible, I'll even get some tennis in.

The problem with my little plan is that I will miss class tomorrow. We'll need half the day for traveling and I don't want to drive at night in case the weather is bad. I've missed more class this semester than I did last semester, and I feel like this is not a good thing. On the other hand, I also feel like I am self-teaching a lot more this semester so lectures are slightly less beneficial (or crucial) than they were then. A friend is going to take notes for me while I am gone, so I know it will be fine. Yet I am completely freaking out about it. Hence the need for a break.

I would like to encourage all of you to take breaks. Shirk your studies (even if only for an hour) and have some fun. Don't talk about law, don't get on your computer. Get out of the house and get some fresh air. Seek out a palm tree (I fully intend to do so this weekend.) I am so sick of winter so I am hoping this will help.

And I promise to do my best to try and forget school until the appropriate time (Monday morning before class?)

Should I Go to Law School?

2011-02-02T10:58:00.000-08:00

Lag Liv has a thread going on her site answering a potential 1L's question about if she should go to law school. I thought I would post my response for you all as well. Feel free to reply with your own opinions. This is the time of year when people are applying (and panicking) so let's see if we can help them out.

Before I post my answer, let me say one thing: you really can make your own experience in law school. Don't do what they tell you to do for jobs, seminars, whatever. My experience is rich because of the following:

1. Starting my own club
2. Belonging to an LGBT club (I'm an ally and this is important to me)
3. Belonging to a club and state organization for criminal defense lawyers (which helped me get an internship BEFORE grades even came out)
4. Pro bono clinics for landlord tenant/employment and other low-income issues, LGBT issues, immigration issues

Law school is not the right path for MOST people. The reasons below explain why I think this is true.

For me, law school was the best decision. In-state tuition, a spouse who works for the school (half tuition!) and therefore has benefits and a salary to cover my not working. We rent, not own, and have one child. For me, being able to pay 10k a year for law school was such a good deal that even if I couldn't get a high-paying job it was worth it.

That being said, how many people are really in that situation?

Really, at least one answer should be yes to the following:

1. Does your spouse make enough to work when you aren't AND pay roughly 1000 a month for your loan payment?

2. Do you have any savings which could offset some of your cost so you can borrow less?

3. Can you wait a year or so to save up a year's worth of tuition or living expenses for after you graduate? (Plus you need lots of $$ to live while taking the bar/before being admitted/to be admitted & pay bar dues.)

4. Do you know anyone who can get you a job when you graduate?

5. Are you open-minded (not completely set on one specific job or type of law)?

6. Are you willing to work for free for one (if not all) summers between semesters?

7. Can you handle working harder than you've ever worked in your life and still get a B?

8. Do you have any idea what lawyers do all day? (Law and Order does not count)

9. Do you REALLY want to be a lawyer? If you just don't know what else to do with your life or you have only a slight interest in law, you should seriously consider other paths. Without passion for the subject, you will be miserable doing the work.

I love law school. People say they hate it, hated 1L etc. I do not get these people. I love love love it. Love the reading, the teachers, my classmates. If you have that kind of positive attitude in spite of pressure and hard work, AND you know for sure you want to be a lawyer I say go for it (provided you answered yes to some of the above.)

Most people do not have both the drive and the resources to enjoy the law school experience. I know so many who can't get a job and don't even want to do law, but have put themselves in such a bad financial position they have no choice. Don't limit yourself by committing to something you don't really even want.

Finally, ask a lawyer to work for them for free for a month or two. They'll be happy to share their experiences and give you an idea of what it is REALLY like.

Sense of Purpose

2011-01-27T15:15:00.000-08:00

So, this week (in fact in 36 minutes) is the OCI (On Campus Interviews) application deadline. This means that some employers, (not many because it's Spring) are coming on campus to interview some (very few) 1L's for summer internships. People are losing their minds. Seriously. It's disheartening to see them all jumping through hoops and panicking. And I feel completely guilty because I decided to shun the whole process and do my own thing, and it paid off.

A while ago I went in to meet with the professional development office. They look over your resume and cover letters and give you advice about where to apply. I was disappointed in their suggestions for the types of jobs I was interested in. I do not want to work for a big firm. I do not want to do litigation. I do not want to work 60-100 hours a week. I want to spend time with my family. I do not want to make millionz of dollarz, or whatever the kids are calling it these days. I want to do public interest or government and I do not want to leave my daughter for 8 weeks to do an internship in D.C. You'd think that would be pretty limiting, but once I decided to find my own path I not only felt liberated, I felt empowered.

The problem with the employment offices in law school is they spend 99% of their time helping 1% of the class. They gear everything toward Big Law (and the firms that to my best guess have either donated money or something equally sexy to buy the school's devotion) and the reality is those firms only hire the very people who do not need help. If you're in the top 10%, you don't need someone out hunting down internships. The ones that come TO the school are looking for them, not people like me who are basically average on paper.

So, to that end, I started spamming lawyers who are members of an organization I belong to. It's a great group and they all practice in the area I'm most interested in. I wasn't interested in settling for something I didn't want, and I didn't want to feel limited by OCI (which the school admits will likely not interview me and even if they do most of them aren't going to hire anyone at all.)

I received a response within 12 hours, WITH an offer for the summer. The attorney liked my initiative. He had only ever been approached by a potential intern once before.

Seeing my poor classmates scrambling to get their OCI applications done and panicking about whether to use a colon or a semicolon on their cover letter hurts me. I want to shout to them "THERE ARE OTHER WAYS TO GET A JOB!!!" but it will probably do no good. The thing is, the single authority on campus who helps you find jobs is just doing what they know how to do best, which is recruit for big firms. It's a numbers game and the reality is most of us won't fall into the range firms are looking for, and most are only taking 1-3 interns this year anyway. AND they're accepting applications from all over the country.

Why waste your time? Unless Dewey, Cheatem, and Howe is your dream job, go out on your own and find your own path. There are plenty of firms (so many that the market is flooded, I hate to say) and therefore plenty of places to apply that aren't the 8 showing up at OCI.

As for me, I went and met with my new boss. He just hired a seasoned former prosecutor from the AG's office, to whom I will be reporting. He hired this prosecutor to work on civil rights cases. I am so excited.

AND he asked me about returning next summer for a paid clerkship. I have no pressure now, I can just focus on school and ignoring PDO emails, while looking forward to the summer and the people I am going to help. Oh, and I just picked up a pro bono case which is my state's equivalent of a habeas corpus case. I am really excited for that as well. WHOO!

1L Grades

2011-01-16T07:55:00.000-08:00

You know that feeling on Christmas morning, after all the presents have been opened? There's wrapping paper everywhere, you've eaten a huge breakfast, and now you just feel... disappointed? I've been told that is the definition of anticlimactic, but that's debatable. Not everyone has the same Christmas, or celebrates Christmas at all, but I'm sure you get the idea.

That is how grades felt for me. I told myself I was going to get B's, (by B's I mean just somewhere between a B- and a B+.) It's a statistical probability, given that most people do, and very few get A's and C's. So that's what I told myself. Why stress about it if you already know what you're going to get?

When I got sick over Finals, that probability seemed to go out the window. I was so high on NyQuil I couldn't even REMEMBER my Contracts final. Something about an airplane? I dunno. I left feeling miserable and uncertain. Never in my life had I felt so blindsided by an exam. Normally you know what to expect when you show up to an exam. I had to skip the first page and come back. I changed my answers several times on the multiple choice. These things I remember, (and have subsequently stressed out over) but the actual exam is lost forever. Being so uncertain (and not remembering the exam) had me kind of nervous. The thought of getting a C felt horrible.

So anyway, I told myself I was going to get B's. And that's what I got. I did much better in legal research, but of course that doesn't count toward your average. OYE. I'm told that employers often ask what grade you got in that class, so at least I have a good answer.

Getting what you expect, with no surprises, is the anticlimactic part. I did fine. Good, even. Not great. I'm disappointed only because I expected the grade fairy to come along and change the past or something. I'm happy, but I feel sort of blah about it.

Luckily, I've already got an internship lined up for the summer so grades at this point are inconsequential. I want to do Moot Court, not Law Review. And in any case I can write my way onto Law Review (I'm told that looks better than grading on anyway) if I want, so again grades aren't that big of a deal.

My point is, all that worrying or stressing does you no good. You can't change your grades, but they can't change you either. Let it go, focus on the new semester. These grades do not define you. The reality is, you will graduate, you will pass the bar and you'll be a lawyer. That is the point of law school, isn't it? So just focus on actually learning the black letter law and regardless of what grades you get, you will be a lawyer when you are done.

The End of Everything?

2011-01-13T16:25:00.000-08:00

Is tomorrow the end of everything? The beginning? The first day of the rest of my life? Despite comfort given and statements to the contrary, there is a general feeling that the release of your first 1L grades will change your life forever. Everything is riding on this. Your career, your sanity, your future as a lawyer, your future as a law student. It's such a big deal they have shrinks in place for dealing with breakdowns. School officials are trying their best to soothe everyone, while simultaneously telling us we have to wait until AFTER class on Friday to get our grades. So here is my personal theory on 1L grades.

The reality is that these grades will potentially affect the job you get for this summer, which in turn potentially affects your future jobs. Five years from now? It's probably not going to matter at all. Most people aren't going to get into Big Law, which means being top of your class might look pretty on a resume but it's unlikely anyone's going to ask. At some point in your career it will probably look pretentious to talk about it.

Here is my real concern: things are going to change. All year the faculty have commented on how great our class is. We all get along. We laugh, even during exam week. We're not overly cliquey, and we seem willing to help each other out. We're not overly competitive, either, at least not out loud. Professors keep commenting that everything will change once our first grades come out. New cliques will form. Old ones will break up. Friendships will be strained. The idea of this makes me miserable, because it's been such a great environment so far. It's hard to imagine it changing. There isn't anyone I don't like and as far as I know (even though I can be a tad annoying to some people, I'm sure) there isn't anyone who dislikes me.

Will tomorrow be the end of it all?

It's a Sickness

2011-01-11T00:06:00.000-08:00

Law students have a few things in common, almost universally. First, ego. Second, obsessive tendencies. Add those two together with exams and grades, and you're in for quite a ride. The thing about our egos is that while they might appear big, they are easily shaken and we're often extremely self-deprecating. Self-preservation requires we puff up our chests and talk a big game, but when no one is looking we collapse into panic, worry, and pastry.

I sent out a flood of resumes and managed to secure a tentative offer. It looks good and it's with a well-known defense attorney in the area. I am very excited to meet with him and discuss my potential role. A sane person would feel a sense of relief at this, given that our grades are so important to securing a summer job. I don't need to stress about my grades, because I already have something lined up. Yet I cannot stop checking to see if they've posted.

Here is where the obsessive tendencies come in. I KNOW the grades will not post until Friday. I know that they weren't even due until today. I saw THREE of my five professors go into the office to turn in their grades and even spoke to one of them in the lobby for some time, confirming that he had in fact been doing that very thing. I KNOW the deans are going to get together to review the grades, verify they meet requirements and seem consistent and fair, and that this process will take some time. Hence the Friday posting date.

But I still keep checking.

Arlene was positively panicking today when we returned after Christmas break. She was convinced she had failed her torts exam and would not shut up about it. I of course, do not blame her at all and tried my best to calm her down. She can't help it, she's one of us.

On the plus side, so far I like my new teachers and I am very excited for my writing class tomorrow. I love my teacher in that class, and it's been weird not getting to hear his awesome stories. I've missed it.

Oh, and my research professor from last semester said he gave out more A's than he ever had before. I have a sneaking suspicion I earned one of those. Which is actually kind of sad, because it doesn't count toward my average. I have been told that often firms will ONLY ask how you did in Research, so maybe the A will prove valuable. Can you imagine, an "A" in law school? One can dream, I guess.

Back to real life. It seems odd that we adapt so quickly to vacation. At least now I have more things to obsess over besides grades, like reading for class, getting enough sleep, etc.

Oh, on an unrelated note, I've been a vegetarian for 8 days and it's going great!!

Happy New Year

2011-01-03T10:03:00.001-08:00

This was a pretty big one, I guess. We made (well, mostly) a pretty major decision. Things are still a bit iffy about The Mad Scientist's job. Once that is settled, and depending on how other things go, we're thinking of having another baby. We had decided not to, but this Christmas I got thinking and it makes me sad to imagine Abby with no siblings on Christmas morning. It was so wonderful seeing everyone and giving gifts, and I don't want her to miss out. On top of that, she is a toddler now. It's crazy. There are a lot of factors, and nothing's for sure, but we'd been so certain that we wouldn't have anymore that when we opened up the possibility I felt absolute joy. Which is odd, because I had been fine with the decision before this.

I am beginning a new weight-loss regimen. I'm going vegetarian temporarily, in an attempt to force myself to learn new recipes and eat more produce. I always cop out and just eat a burger. So far it's been awesome, and I'm really enjoying all the new foods I'm eating. I'm also taking up yoga and doing more to exercise in general. If all goes to plan and I get healthy, we'll talk about having another one. This is also conditional on The Mad Scientist's job, as well. That's a lot of conditions, and on top of all that the timing has to be right. I don't feel like dealing with delivering a baby in the middle of exams.

I'm really scared that I'll be so tired I'll end up cutting class all the time. It's definitely something to consider. We'll see what happens.

Our New Year's was great. We had a little adventure helping someone whose truck was stuck up the canyon. I am really sore and I got some pretty major snowburn on my hands from pushing the truck. My muscles are so sore I feel like I've been working out for two days. I was supposed to do yoga today but I dunno if I'll survive.

Only two more weeks until we get our grades. I am still trying not to think about it too much. I picked up my books, and they were so expensive. More than I thought they would be, based on what I found online but there just wasn't time.

Ugh law school. I miss it and I dread it.

Winter Break, I Guess

2010-12-29T20:04:00.000-08:00

I'm supposed to be on a break, but I'm finding it impossible. Sitting home with Abby reminds me so much of what it was like before law school I find myself falling into the same old habits. Like not showering or wearing pants. Bad!

I know I will be miserable if I spend the rest of the break (school starts on January 10) sitting around not wearing pants. The first morning I have to wake up and put on pants I will hate life. So, I'm resolved to keep busy. Today The Mad Scientist took work off to spend the day at home with us. He's been working really hard lately, largely because his job is probably going to end on the 15th and he doesn't want to leave anything unfinished. Why he feels he owes them any favors is beyond me. On the plus side, his boss has set him up with an interview in the same department at the university, so we may not be losing his pension, our benefits, my tuition discount, etc. Cross your fingers for us!

Today I felt inspired to move furniture. So that's what we did. We got the Playstation Move for Christmas (from Santa) and our ceiling fan was causing major problems. And injuries. My poor law school-addled brain kept thinking about who we could sue. Law school has officially ruined the show for me. For those of you who don't know, that's a metaphor for the phenomenon you experience when you watch Law and Order after starting law school. Show is ruined, see? We moved everything around and I like it much, much better. We converted Abby's crib to a toddler bed. She is currently sleeping soundly in it, so I think we made the right decision. How we'll feel tomorrow morning when she's up and out of it and playing at 5 am I guess we'll have to wait and see. So far she basically feels like the bed is an indoor trampoline. Again I think of products liability. Grr. We reorganized all her toys and got the house cleaned up. Our room is still a total mess, filled with gifts we've received but haven't put away yet. I love getting (and giving) but it's hard to find homes for all the swag.

I'm sad that Christmas is over, because now I'm (nearly, after New Years) back to normal. This break has gone really fast because we have had so much stuff to do, but I know it's going to slow down. I miss school so much. I'm excited for this semester, because I get to take Criminal Law. That should be swell. Also, I get to begin volunteering for the pro bono initiative. I'm leaning toward the immigration clinic or the Street Law Clinic. I guess it will depend on the schedules.

Still no grades yet. We won't find out until January 15. I'm terrified and still in shock and nearly to the point of not caring. I know there isn't anything I can do at this point. I'm hoping the heavy doses of NyQuil didn't screw my Contracts exam up. Time will tell. I hope everyone had a great holiday!

Didn't Get the Number off that Truck

2010-12-17T21:50:00.000-08:00

So, Torts. Ugh. What a frakking nightmare. By the time it was over I felt like I had been violated. Seriously. Like I had been robbed at gunpoint (hmm it's torts, so I guess I was what? Hit by a negligent train?) or something. Traumatized. The first two hours I felt fine. The questions were pretty easy. There was a lot on res ipsa loquitur which was so specific I had to guess. We had a break, and then part two. Part two was much harder. There was a lot of proximate cause, and the questions were so very specific. It was awful. Still, I think I did pretty well all in all.

Who would have thought that CivPro would be my best exam?

Contracts was today. A few days ago I came down with a horrible cold. I've been so plugged up and drugged up I couldn't effectively study. I finished my outline but didn't study it much. I showed up for the exam today, and it was nothing like I expected. I can't really explain how, it was just odd. One-third multiple choice. I couldn't get over the fact that I had an 80% chance of getting no points on each question. Awful. I am pretty sure I nailed the essays, but who's to say?

We won't know our grades for three weeks. Home, no school, just me and Abigail for three weeks. Any normal person would be thrilled. I think I might be bored to death.

Tortfeasible

2010-12-11T14:49:00.000-08:00

Monday will be my Torts exam. I was feeling very comfortable with it until I took the practice test. My professor is old-school, so he doesn't put up old exams for students to see, doesn't allow you to record his lectures, and it's completely closed book. Oh, and mostly true/false and multiple choice. Still, I was okay with it. I get torts, it just makes sense to me. Or so I thought.

A couple years ago a number of students got together after the exam and wrote down as many questions as they could remember. They typed them all up, provided answers, and made a 4 hour exam out of them. Some are duplicated, some are from supplements, and some are the real deal. I started taking the exam, trying to simulate real exam conditions. Until I noticed that the numbering on the exam appeared to be wrong. Things weren't lining up right. I was about 3/4 of the way through it and decided to stop and grade what I could. It took 2 hours, because I had to redo all the numbering. Finally, I realized it wasn't the document, it was frakking Open Office. It was all screwed up for some reason.

I got it all graded, and I'd scored a 67%. Apparently that's a decent score for one of his exams, so I guess I'm happy?? Anyway, now I'm going through all the questions one by one and making sure I understand the answer. I've heard the best way to study for his exams is just re-read the entire casebook. But he'll spend half an hour in class focusing on the "etc." in one line of the Thorns case. No way that sort of thing will jump out at me if I just read the book again. I figure the test is the best way to study but I'm just guessing.

Sounds like I'll be doing a lot of that.

Never Too Busy for Tradition

2010-12-10T15:27:00.000-08:00

Obviously being in law school has kept me from doing things that matter to me, but I am determined that it is not going to ruin my holiday season. I took time to put up the Christmas tree and really enjoyed it. One thing I keep meaning to do that has not happened (in almost two years) is get some photos taken of us. It's just such a struggle getting everyone ready and heading out. I can't even think about picking out Christmas cards. I've found a solution though, thanks to Shutterfly and their fantastic blogger promotion. I have been using a similar site for digital scrapbooking for a while now, but they made some changes I didn't like. Shutterfly has proven to be a fantastic tool for me, especially given how busy I am. To be able to choose the photo you want and create a Christmas card (even without having a Christmas-themed photo taken) really saves time and energy. Plus, who knows if Abby would be interested in posing for a photo at a professional studio?

Instead, I grabbed some random photos of her and placed them in one of Shutterfly's 800+ holiday card templates. I haven't finalized the changes yet, but here is what it looks like so far:

It looks great, doesn't it? And I did hardly any work at all. In fact, I made this in about five minutes in between practice Torts exams.

Something else I love, is that ever since I became a mom I basically have a ready-made gift idea for my in-laws and my parents every year. Anything Abigail-themed and photo-based makes them happy. Sites like Shuttefly let you get great gifts with minimal effort, that will be cherished for years to come. I like the custom calendar options in particular. If you live far away, you can make a custom calendar so your family can see your little one every month. Also, I hate picture frames because when you give them they might not go with the recipient's decor, so these desktop plaques are great.

I'm already getting geared up for Abby's 2nd birthday party, and I'm going to make custom invitations to go with the theme of the party. I did this last year (with matching Thank You notes) and got a ton of compliments. I even used the extra ones to do a page in my scrapbook.

If you would like to get 50 free holiday cards, take advantage of this promotion for bloggers. The requirements are minimal and you get to take advantage of their fantastic website. You can check it out here.

One Down!

2010-12-09T20:50:00.000-08:00

Last night I went down and slept in the guest room. Abigail has been crying a lot at night lately and I was worried about not getting enough sleep. GOOD CALL. Apparently she woke up every half hour all night long. Not sure what's going on there, but I am really glad I went downstairs to sleep. I slept great and woke up feeling refreshed and ready for my CivPro exam at 8:30.

I had finished up my outline on Tuesday and decided to spend Wednesday relaxing and sort of forgetting about it altogether. We put up our Christmas tree and I watched an entire disc of How I Met Your Mother. It was legen-waitforit-dary!!!

7:00 when my alarm went off I freaked out for a minute. What if it was a mistake to take a day off? What if I flipped the page and everything on it was totally unfamiliar? I was terrified.

But, I showed up, and from the get-go I knew I had it. I've never felt so good about an exam. I NAILED IT.

Or did I?

There once was a guy named Pennoyer

2010-12-08T20:24:00.000-08:00

There once was a man named Pennoyer,
Who got screwed by a guy and his lawyer,
While he wanted Neff's land,
Or maybe remand,
Lack of P.J's a destroyer.

CivPro exam tomorrow, wish me luck!!

Finals

2010-12-07T09:52:00.000-08:00

It's funny how everyone's blogs suddenly went without content, huh? It's almost like there is some major 1L event going on this week. Oh wait, yep it's finals.

So far I'm doing okay. I've been pretty calm and have been working diligently. I wish I had gotten more outlining done over Thanksgiving. I had more to do on my CivPro outline than I thought I did, and I am concerned about devoting equal time to my other subjects. That said, my school is very careful about exam scheduling. I will have CivPro this Thursday, Torts next Monday, and Contracts on Friday. The days in between should be sufficient, but I guess we'll never know.

All in all I feel pretty good about it, though I have had a couple moments of panic. Largely, I feel like if it's in my outline I'll be okay. Torts is a different story, as it's 400 true/false in 4 hours with closed book. YIKES! I think it will be fun though, in a weird way.

There, I promised I would blog, and while it isn't much, there it is.

If I start going insane I am going to take a break and put up our Christmas tree. I waited until the week before last year. Maybe I'll be even earlier this year, yay me!

All the 1L's out there, good luck with finals. I have discovered that a glass of wine helps with nerves. Also while I never use my coffee maker it's coming in quite handy this week! I never thought I would miss the coffee cart at school so much!

Thankful

2010-11-28T18:50:00.000-08:00

My sister-in-law sent out an email discussing all the reasons she is thankful this year. And she made me cry. She'll deny the whole thing of course. It's not often you know where you stand with your in-laws, so it was nice to be included on her list. It inspired me to do my own post, although it's a few days late.

First, I am grateful for my husband. He does all these amazing things that I just don't think I could do. He works 50 hours a week. He goes to the gym at 5am so he will have enough time to get in a full workout and still come home to relieve me around 5pm. He takes care of Abby and the house and doesn't make me feel guilty (I do that all by myself!). He is really an incredible person and I cannot believe how lucky I am to have him. Also, he's hot.

I'm grateful to have The Most Amazing baby ever. She is getting so big. I love the way she calls me "Mommy" and gives me hugs and kisses. Also, she's not even two yet and she knows almost the entire alphabet by sight. So smart and so sweet, and she's almost never grumpy.

I'm grateful for my parents, and how much they love Abigail. They take her for weekends to give us a break, and they completely adore it. It's not a chore to them, it's a privilege. I'm grateful that my father and I can have conversations even when we differ, and that my mom is still my best friend.

I'm grateful for my siblings-in-law. My sister and I are for the most part estranged, and I rarely get to see my older brother. My siblings-in-law (and their spouses) are so nice and are always happy to see us. They love Abigail (even those who aren't particularly into kids) and help out when they can. I wish we could see them more, but that's what happens when you live an hour away. Seeing them at Sunday dinner is always a treat. They are talented, funny, and fiercely smart people.

I'm grateful for my parents-in-law. They are two of the most kind and generous people I've ever met. I know that should I need them for anything, I can call them up and they will help, no questions asked.

I'm grateful for my school friends. What an amazing journey I've begun, and with all these smart and compassionate people! In particular, I am grateful for Lola. I had all but given up on having a best friend until she came along. That is not to speak unkindly about my other friends, it's just that I've never had such a close connection with someone. I actually ACHED for her over Thanksgiving break. I don't know how I will survive summer!

I'm grateful for law school. I am so lucky to do something I feel so passionately about every day. I love the challenge, the interesting discussions, and the stress. I feel valued and valuable, and like I'm doing something that matters. I can't believe I almost didn't go.

Finally, I am grateful for this life I live. Things are scary in so many parts of the world, and even here, at times. I am lucky to have my first-world problems and the resources to help others. Right now my biggest problem is I ate too much Chicken Parmesan. See? First world problems.

Right now we are trying to figure out which charities we want to donate to, and it's a struggle. We can only choose two, and we may not be able to give that much. Any suggestions are appreciated.

How to tell if you are suffering from temporary multiple personality study disorder.

2010-11-27T21:48:00.001-08:00

1. You are super excited to hand in your memo and be done with it. Until you realize it means you have to prepare for exams.

2. You feel a surge of energy as you begin to prepare your outlines. Until you discover your first exam is CivPro. Yuck.

3. You cannot wait to crack open the commercial outlines you bought and let their wisdom flow into you. Until you realize your professor is the crazy one who uses a completely different casebook and focuses on different cases than those in the outlines.

4. You excitedly start counting down the days to the end of the semester. Until you start counting down the days to the end of the semester. WHERE HAS THE TIME GONE?!?! I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH TIME! GAHHHH!!!

5. You loathe the idea of applying for jobs already. Until you realize preparing your resume is a good distraction from studying.

6. You responsibly vow to avoid Facebook so you can focus. Until you realize you're desperate to see if your classmates are panicking too, so you hop on Facebook.

7. On the day of the Big Game you decide to watch with friends and take a break. Until you start arguing that Official Play Review is sort of like binding arbitration. Hey, Cougars, you AGREED that the official's call would be binding! SUCK IT!

8. You wisely decide to forgo alcohol while studying. Until you go over Subject Matter Jurisdiction and pray that a glass of wine will wipe it all out again.

Courtroom Drama

2010-11-19T16:33:00.001-08:00

Yesterday was a very exciting day, when I was expecting it to be boring. Before I tell the tale, you should know a little background information.

First, there is a huge huge huge trial going on at our local Federal courthouse. It's in the news and everything, whoo. This means a huge media presence. It just so happens Lola had to go to court to observe for her CivPro class, so I offered to tag along with her.

Second, a couple weeks ago I attended a lecture given by one of my professors. He'd written an article about the whole foreclosure mess and what is being called "split note theory." It was gaining a lot of media attention, and the lecture was really interesting. I felt all riled up.

So we arrive yesterday at the Federal courthouse and the place is completely deserted. Thursday at 3 is the time to be there if you want to see nothing. Although the security guys were very nice and chatty with us. While waiting for them to unlock the court, we parked ourselves on a bench. The big trial had been over for hours (well, for that day anyway) and it seemed like everyone had gone home. The judge we were observing had only this one motion hearing and she was done for the day. I watched as a young guy in a suit walked down the hall, looked over at us for a second, and then walked into a room marked "Private." I heard him say "Are you ready?" The door closed, and about five minutes later it opened again. Out walked the defendant in this big huge case, in handcuffs. The guy in the suit, who I am assuming was counsel, walked with him as he was led away by a guard. I guess they waited to take him back to the jail until after the circus had gone.

It was sort of like seeing a celebrity. He looked me right in the eye and it was a very unsettling feeling.

After that a bailiff came by and unlocked the courtroom to let us in. We sat down and a few minutes later an attorney came in. He asked if we were with opposing counsel's firm. We told him we were students and asked if we could get the info on the case since we had a few minutes. He began describing the facts, which were all about the exact topic that my professor had written in his review article. What are the odds? So we already knew about it, and that doesn't happen a lot in 1L.

Opposing counsel (plaintiff) came in. They presented their arguments, and I have to say the plaintiff's counsel was very very good. He argued well. I recognized much of his language from the lecture, and I was pretty sure I had seen him there. It turns out he is a major player in this particular theory, and my professor quotes him in the review article.

After the hearing we asked if we could get some info from him, identified ourselves as students of Professor K, and he was very nice. He gave us some documents to look over and told us Professor K is considering getting a pro bono clinic related to foreclosures going at the school. I am definitely interested in that. We were so lucky to get to attend a hearing based on subject matter we are familiar with.

Plus, there was some drama which I won't go into, out of respect for all parties. Let's just say, lawyers are remarkably civil to each other and to judges at times when I would really want to scream and stamp my feet like a toddler.

The day ended with some shopping, which made it a very good one.

Pencil Head

2010-11-15T12:51:00.000-08:00

My K professor always wears a pencil in his ear. Someone today decided to pass around a pack of yellow pencils as a prank. We all stuck them behind our ears. Professor K thought it was funny but quickly moved on.

I don't know who it was, but I tip my pencil to them.

How to Tell It's the End of the Semester

2010-11-11T15:48:00.000-08:00

How to tell if it's the end of the semester:

1. Even the nicest girl in school can piss you off by doing nothing wrong at all.

2. Little noises (like my friend's computer fan which whirrrrrrr whirrr whirrrs constantly all through class) start to sound like a drumline standing next to you.

3. You find yourself more willing to gossip about people and be catty, just to talk about something other than school.

4. Even the Luv Sac in the lounge that no one sits on because of The Incident a few years ago starts to look inviting. I could really use a nap, so...

5. You suddenly do not care if you get an "'Atta boy!" from the professors. And yet cling to the ones you do get like they are the last bit of oxygen in the tank.

6. Diet Coke for lunch, which used to seem insane, now seems perfectly healthy. And luxurious!

7. Exercise, which you normally hate, is sounding really good. At least it's not CivPro.

8. You want to punch Cardozo in the face. Or Andrews. Or any judge, really. Except the one that might give you a job this summer. That judge is awesome.

9. You feel a strange tension between your Perfectionist self and your "Aww Fuck it" self.

10. You dream aliens invade your house. And they offer to let you come to their home planet so you sell all your worldly possessions and then they leave you behind. So you want to sue them claiming you detrimentally relied on their promise. Or something like that.

Passion

2010-11-09T20:22:00.000-08:00

Much of the 1L experience is spent slogging through cases and just trying to survive. This naturally leads to complaining. I use my blog to vent and the writing process helps me sort out issues and relieve stress. That said, sometimes it's just difficult to get passionate about things when you're in survival mode.

Now and then, however, you find something to grab onto. You feel inspired and that surge of energy that comes with inspiration pushes you on and reminds you about why you've decided to go to law school.

While I am not looking forward to applying for summer jobs (we're being told to start preparing now), a few events have helped motivate me in the past week.

First, we had an exoneree come and speak at the school. What an amazing story he had to tell. The injustices felt by wrongfully convicted persons are appalling. Parolees get more consideration from the State than exonerees, yet the trauma of being wrongfully convicted certainly merits the same psychological and financial relief afforded to parolees. I had already been planning to do the Innocence Clinic as soon as I'm allowed, and this furthered my resolve. I hadn't previously considered doing defense work, but the more events I attend the more appealing it seems to be.

We also had a fantastic event by one of my favorite professors, who had been receiving national attention for some law review articles he'd recently written about the foreclosure crisis. I had no idea some of the things going on, and it was pretty disturbing. It was thrilling to see the passion this professor had about his research and the cause in general. I want to find my own niche in the legal world.

If I have a prayer of getting onto law review, which I may not even care about were it not the best way to get into academia, I better start caring about something now. It's hard to write if you don't have passion.

I certainly do not have passion for my legal memo. I am horrified that it will be given out with my resume as a writing sample, because I didn't choose the topic. You inevitably write less well when you aren't interested in the subject. Were this a paying client (or a worthy pro bono cause) I would have a much more vested interest.

What? You think a good grade in the course should produce that level of interest?

Perhaps, but while I can do great on the memo and get a great grade, passion leads to BRILLIANT writing and that is what I want to showcase to my future employers.

I am hoping to take a class with a writing requirement that will allow me to work on something interesting that I can use instead. I don't think my employers want to read about common law marriage. YUCK.

Smack my B***tch Up

2010-11-04T19:50:00.001-07:00

Today I made that CivPro midterm my bitch. I was really nervous about it, but it went really well. It was ungraded, but simulated the actual exam so closely that I got some good experience in. I worked out some little bugs with the Exam4 software and feel more comfortable using it now. It doesn't seem like that big of a deal, but add the stress of an exam and EVERY LITTLE THING makes you freak out.

I think I did really well on it. I was worried that my outline wouldn't be user-friendly, which is why I opted to do the exam. It worked fine, although I could pick out the holes in it (the days I didn't prepare for class, of course). I'll work on those over Thanksgiving. I need to get more familiar with the Rules we've been studying this week, since I've been basically stoned on cold medicine the whole week. It's amazing how little I comprehend when I'm taking medicine.

Today I took some daytime medicine and had the jitters all through my exam. Probably adrenaline and probable DRUGZ.

Tomorrow is the legal research final. We have so much information to go over but I am determined that I will ROCK IT.

I think we're getting our memo rough drafts back tomorrow. That will be nice, because I can get to work on it and be done. Career services bummed me out today when they said our memo will be the writing sample we use to apply for jobs this winter. I was so looking forward to being done with it forever. I'll have to be really dedicated and revise it extensively so that it's something I'm proud of.

Night all! Wish me luck tomorrow!

GRRRRAAAAAACCCKKKKKKKKKKKKFFFFFF!!!!

2010-10-31T19:20:00.000-07:00

That's just how I feel, okay? DEAL WITH IT!

Stupid memo. Stupid legal writing. Stupid common-law marriage laws. Stupid law school. Stupid cold. Stupid family dinners. Stupid eating too much. Stupid going back to working on paper. Stupid Sunday nights. Stupid Monday mornings. Stupid stupid stupid!

There, I feel better. Oh wait, no, still have like 80% of the paper to go. Better get to it.

Stupid common law marriage.

Why I am wearing purple.

2010-10-20T07:37:00.000-07:00

Today we wear purple to make a statement of support and love for all those who felt they had no other option but to end their life; for those who were tormented to the breaking point. Why were they bullied? Because they were gay, lesbian, bisexual or trans-gender. Because our country refuses to acknowledge that even if you don't agree with these people, they are in fact, PEOPLE. Just like anyone else, and they deserve the same rights and respect as any other person. LGBTs are not criminals. They are not insane. They are not "bad people." They are our brothers, sisters, friends and neighbors and they deserve our love.

Today I wear purple to show the conservative community I come from that I am not going to be silent in the face of intolerance. I will equally love and support all people and defend the rights of all.

My thoughts are with those who've lost loved ones in this fight and those who have been faced with the ugliness of hate and misunderstanding. You are not alone, you have allies.

Fall Continuation

2010-10-17T22:01:00.000-07:00

Because it's not a break. Nope. No Fall Break. No Thanksgiving Break. No Christmas Break. They told us, and by God they were right.

I put more hours into studying this past week/weekends than I have the whole semester. Usually 10-12 hour days. All to meet the goal of getting outlines established up to our current place in the syllabus. I didn't even bother doing a Torts outline, but I started using the flashcards. Since my teacher does 400 questions in 4 hours all multiple choice and true or false, I've reconsidered my position on this. But I didn't have time. The flashcards helped immensely (to the point that I am now on the ones relevant to the cases we're reading tomorrow) but my prof has a few idiosyncrasies. For example, if he hates/loves a particular judge, he will ask a question like "T/F Learned Hand would agree that there is no such thing as gross negligence, only negligence." So you better be sure that I'll be using my class notes heavily to study. Tricky tricky. I think on the substantive points I'll be golden. My only concern are little nit-picky things like that.

It's especially tricky because there was a judge who thought that, but it wasn't Learned Hand, it was Baron Rolfe. See? Nit-picky.

I'm sort of looking forward to it, in my weird nerdy way. Closed-everything, 400 questions (leaving 36 seconds per question)? Sounds like a challenge!!

I did alright working on my CivPro outline. I'm not fully caught-up, but I got a great jump on it and I know the format I'm going to use.

Contracts was... well awful. I got something made, and when I went to a study group I found it less than helpful. I need to cross-reference things better. But, I do think making it helped and I really liked the supplements I got. I made a flowchart, using a red light/green light sort of format. For example, you first need to establish "Is there a contract?" So that's a green box. Then when you get to the end of that analysis, your conclusion is a red stop sign. Then you move to the next question which relates to the terms of the contract, again a green box. And so on. It helps me visually and I enjoyed making it. It helped me get in the zone of working through all the possible scenarios.

I am concerned about being allowed to use it on the exam. I did use a supplement to make it, often using exact language for the questions. However, I spent hours and hours working on it and trying to make it my own. And, the questions are pretty universal, so I don't see a need to re-word them. I may show it to him and ask if it's okay to use it. He basically said we can use anything we want as long as we don't bring in the supplement or just use someone else's outline from the previous year. I guess we'll see! Either way, I will use it to study with and that helps a lot.

As for Methods, I did preliminary research for my memo. I should have done a lot more than that, but the fact is I just DID NOT WANT TO. I got a good list of cases and I'll make the case plan tomorrow night. It's due Tuesday. I think I know enough about research to not be worried (my TA recommended I not wait until the last minute, but that was so we could call with any questions if we got stuck.) I'm not worried about that so I feel fine procrastinating.

Things are getting crazy.

I went to a few great parties over the break and made some new friends. It was great getting to know classmates who aren't in my section, because we don't really know each other exists. It's like grade school all over again. Next semester they shake things up. Lola and I will only have Methods together, which breaks my heart. But, a few of the new friends I made this weekend will have most classes with me, so I know I have a friend-base there already.

Looking forward to next weekend. Getting back in the habit of waking up is going to be rough.

Knee Deep In...Well YOU Know

2010-10-13T08:22:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the lack of post. I try to shoot for a minimum of one per week. The thing is, I HAD NO IDEA, ya'll. Not a clue. Nope, totally thought this whole outlining thing would be SO easy. I was even excited! What IS wrong with me??

Never in my life have I sat at my desk staring at a blinking cursor completely unable to write anything. Never! I'm usually overwhelmed with all of the ideas tumbling out of me onto the keyboard. It gets messy, normally.

Here are my problems.

First, at my Methods professor's recommendations, I surrounded myself with my books, syllabus, supplements, and a few commercial outlines for a particular subject. Then, after making a blood sacrifice to a dark god, all those items would magically combine into the glorious if not somewhat ethereal OutLine. Yeah, not so much. What format do I take? I was thinking use the syllabus and then alter it with material from the commercial outlines. Then plug in holdings/issues to the cases on the syllabus. Then make some sort of a synthesized rule. But the commercial outlines don't even acknowledge cases really, they just give you the overall rule, which is SUPER helpful, except I have a feeling my profs are going to refer to cases or want us to (they've said as much) and there is just no way I can put BOTH in there. If I do, the thing will be 200 pages long instead of the 40 or so I was aiming for.

HELP ME. THE POST-ITS ARE STARTING TO REBEL. I DON'T LIKE THE WAY THAT OLD EMANUEL DUDE IS LOOKING AT ME. I'VE BITTEN OFF ALL MY NAILS. OH LOOK, I DROPPED A CHEET-OH. I WONDER HOW LONG IT'S BEEN THERE. NOM NOM NOM. WHAT?!?!

Okay so it isn't THAT bad. But still, not being able to write is a discomfort I am not used to. Not to mention I still have The Memo That Shall Not Be Named to write before Fall Break is over. And the voices are getting louder.

Everybody's Workin' for the Weekend

2010-10-01T15:23:00.000-07:00

This week has been rough. My memo took way more effort than I thought it would, but the good news is I got it back today with minimal notes. I'll probably be able to fix the errors and polish it a bit pretty easily, maybe an hour or so. We also have to put in the issues and quick-answers, which I've never done before. Hopefully it will be as easy as it sounds.

I keep meaning to go visit professors during office hours. Everyone keeps saying it is so helpful and they are really willing to offer advice on their own classes as well as law school in general. Outlining is making me semi-nervous. I'm starting to get the hang of CivPro (I think) and today in contracts I finally gave an argument my professor liked. Other than near the end I sort of tapered off with "the bank is just trying to cover their rear ends." He liked the rest of it though.

Torts is scary but fun, as always. I got some flash cards and I am going to start learning those Monday. I got my personal website (mostly) finished and published. I have a few more things to do on it but at least it's up if a potential employer Googles me. All in all I am giving myself enough time to have fun but still get reading done.

Today after contracts a friend came up and gave me a hug. He said I had his vote for top 10% of the class because I am "Soooo smart." *tear* I really needed that today.

Just When You Get A Handle on It

2010-09-28T10:51:00.001-07:00

That's what they do to you in law school. Just when you get a handle on things they shake you up. I've been fine, getting into the rhythm and feeling pretty good about things. Then my academic support group got together to go over outlining, since that is what we are expected to do over Fall Break. It made my head hurt. I've always enjoyed outlining, but adding that and a memo to my existing coursework is making me feel overwhelmed. I'm sure it will be fine but I find myself increasingly grumpy and apathetic more and more. I have had some great weekends with nice breaks, but I really just want to crawl into my bed and pretend the world doesn't exist. I'm sure I'm not the only one feeling this way. Maybe outlining will actually help, since I'll have more perspective on how far I've come?

In other news, this Friday it will be one year since my brother-in-law committed suicide. The time has gone by so fast and I'm not really sure how to feel. I'm sad of course, but just like when he was alive, life just goes on and he didn't really affect us all that much. Saying that makes me even sadder. What a waste. He could have been so much, but I never felt like he would. I hate it that I turned out to be right. I miss him. I know Abby is missing out, since he was so loving and attentive to her. I want to say the afterlife is so much better for him than this life was, but I am so uncertain about the afterlife I can't really tell myself that if it's a lie. Ugh. The depression over the anniversary is not helping with school. I'm sure the hibernating urge I'm feeling has a lot to do with that.

School is school. I would love to tell a hilarious story, but I just don't have the energy. It's like this at home too. I have this whole other separate life away from my family, and when I get home I just want to share it all with Brian. But I can't get the words to form.

I am a zombie law student.

Normality

2010-09-23T21:56:00.001-07:00

Abigail came home today. I am so glad. She squealed when she saw me and promptly put her head on my shoulder. I have missed her so much. She had her 18 month appointment today. Normally, Brian would take her so I wouldn't miss class, but things got entirely too complicated and I missed out on CivPro and Torts.

Too bad, because Professor T did in fact make a "Jesus Take the Wheel" joke about the crazy God-will-drive-or-else-I'll-fly-because-Batman-can case. We had all been betting about it and Professor T did not disappoint. I'm sad I missed it.

This was the first time I missed class this semester, but my classmates lovingly offered notes before I even asked.

This weekend is the first parents club meeting. We're doing a lunch at my place. I'm excited. I also got some help with the budget and found out the students orgs department will cover shirts for us. That was a nice surprise. I designed a great logo for the club. They basically told me that I am free to fund-raise as I see fit. I may approach a few firms associated with the school to see if anyone might be willing to donate a few hundred dollars or help with an event. Perhaps a venue for a party or something? We'll see. It's exciting that I'm starting something so important. We have a lot of parent law students in need of support. I'm making great friends doing it, and I hope Abby will too.

I think things are returning to normal. I can't express how happy I am to know that if I screamed right now or slammed a door I would wake her. It comforts me, as strange as that sounds.

Wretched

2010-09-21T20:13:00.000-07:00

I promise to have a full post soon, I'm just feeling so very blah about it all right now.

I think the mid-semester doldrums have kicked in.

Right now I am choosing between CivPro and sleep. I know my prof won't be calling on me tomorrow, since I've had my turn already. She does it alphabetically so I will know exactly when it's my turn next time. Does this motivate me to prepare every day? No, but I do it anyway.

Today, I am just too tired and sad. I miss Abigail so much. She comes home on Thursday from Nana's house and I can't wait. Friday it is one year since my brother-in-law died and Brian and I are both feeling the strain.

I feel so apathetic. I think I'll just go to bed and hope that tomorrow is better. Seeing Abby's smiling face and getting one of her hugs is all I need right now and I can't wait.

Balancing It All

2010-09-17T20:10:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a combination of fantastic and super tough. The school had an event where we went downtown and toured 4 different large firms. I haven't really felt interested in working in a large firm, as I'm prioritizing my family over my career. That doesn't mean I am not going to try and get the best thing I can, but I'm not going to work 120 hour weeks. It's just not going to happen. I was pleasantly surprised by the responses the various lawyers gave when I asked about family life and their firm. A couple gave specific numbers about their "modified tracks" which allow you to work 20% less billable hours and it only adds one year to your partner track time. They were very enthusiastic and I met more women than I thought I would. I got some great contacts (though recruiting was not allowed beyond answering questions about what they look for in a resume) and had some fantastic food.

The tough part was that we didn't get done until 7pm. Then I had to take the baby down to my mom's, where she will be spending either the weekend or a full week. I packed for a full week, but I may miss her too much to let her stay until next Thursday.

Today, I felt so happy and so guilty. It's funny how motherhood works that way. I was able to sleep in an extra half hour, and I had to keep reminding myself that Abby wasn't in her crib. I kept listening for her, instead of enjoying my lie-in. Then, when I got up, I got to put on face-cream! I NEVER get to do that. It felt so luxurious. AND I got to use my blow dryer. I had forgotten what blown-out hair looked like. It was swell.

This weekend will be amazing and incredibly self-indulgent. I worked hard to get as much work as possible done so I didn't have to bring books home. I do have to do some Torts reading, but only ten pages so nothing major. I even got my Legal Research assignment done early today, though it's not due until Monday. Lola and I went across the street and spent two luxurious hours having cheeseburgers, beer (for her, Diet Coke for me!) and chatting. I adore her and I'm so lucky to have found such a great friend in school. She's one of many, but we have so much in common it's really nice.

Tomorrow I'm going to brunch with another gal-pal and then to a matinee. Tomorrow night Lola and her husband are coming up and we're going to Oktoberfest. Don't ask me why they do it in September here. Polka, sausage, and mechanical bull-riding, here we come!! Yeah I don't know why they have a mechanical bull, either.

Then Sunday Brian and I are going to breakfast and to get massages. I AM SO EXCITED. I've been working my guts out and the break from both homework and the baby will be nice.

But I still feel guilty. At least I know she is having so much fun with Nana and PopPop and my Law School Mistress will still be there on Monday.

Have a great weekend, all.

I Just Can't Keep it In!!

2010-09-13T15:01:00.000-07:00

Sorry, I just can't keep it in. I don't care who reads this, it is just too funny to hold in. The dates are approximate.

Day 1: Professor K enters late and immediately starts grilling a student. He seems scary. I leave feeling shaken.

Day 2: Professor K cracks a joke, and when no one laughs he does a little dance to indicate he is waiting for the laughter. When it comes but a little too late to not be awkward, he comments throughout the lecture that HE thought it was funny and pretends to be hurt. (Hilarious) I leave feeling relieved, and like this class will be super fun.

Day 3: Professor K calls on a student who stumbles. He reassures her by stating "If you answer then I'll mark off your name and not talk to you for a long time." She replies, "Awesome."

He laughs and then pretends to be hurt that she thinks it's "awesome" to not have to talk to him.

(Several days of great classes)

Day 10: While discussing possible other means of recovery than breach of contract in an employee dispute, Professor K mentions a hypo where his employer discriminates based on his age. JoJo says that only applies if he is old, and since he's young it won't apply. Another (very funny and very nice) student posits that maybe he could claim discrimination since Professor K is a metrosexual.

He laughs and then after we've moved on keeps going back to it. He's clearly upset by being called a metrosexual (in a funny way though, but I felt like maybe he didn't know what it meant). The student feels completely stupid for making the joke.

Day 12: "If a wealthy man says to a tramp" hypo in an opinion. When the class cracks up, Professor K does too. He asserts that we're all filthy-minded. I leave feeling like his sense of humor is awesome and makes his intensity worth it.

Day 15: Professor K mentions the metrosexual comment again, the student who said it feels terrible again.

Day 16: Professor K is upset that the court did not acknowledge the injustices being done to the Greeks during the war in Batsakis. He rants about it for five minutes and abruptly leaves the classroom, obviously upset at students' arguments. (Hey, we're just answering the questions here based on what the court said, I don't think we all thought the nice elderly Greek lady should get screwed.)

Day 17: Professor K apologizes for his rant and says he feels embarrassed but explains it's important for us to not be led by the judges' opinions and to think for ourselves.

Day 20: JoJo tells Professor K (after his comment is dismissed) YOUR HYPOTHETICAL IS RIDICULOUS!!! At which Professor K begins citing the metrosexual comment and all the other previous grievances for why we are the surliest class he's ever had. He mentions he looked up the meaning of metrosexual and informs us he has NEVER had a pedicure thankyouverymuch. He's laughing and it's hilarious, but we are all horrified at the student's behavior.

This will be an interesting semester.

Also, unrelated, S.O.T and I had a decent conversation today in which he only touched me inappropriately once. What is it with your peers thinking they can touch you on the shoulder? YUCK. Maybe I could learn to tolerate him. Pleh.

Almost too Shocking to Desribe

2010-09-11T23:26:00.000-07:00

I remember on September 11th, I drove my ex-husband (husband at the time) to work and dropped him off. I was listening to NPR on the way to work, and we heard a plane had crashed into the World Trade Center. Small planes crash all the time, and while I was concerned for the safety of those involved, I just assumed it was a small vessel with a single pilot who had gotten off course. There was just no way to contemplate the magnitude of it all. I got to work, which was a middle school where I substituted. At the time I was teaching the at-risk class. They were a handful of students who had lost the privilege to attend classes with the rest of the school. They were like ghosts, forced to arrive later and leave earlier. They had their own lunch time, and were not allowed to associate with any students outside their class. If they progressed, they could earn the right to enter the mainstream again.

Their regular teacher was in New York City on vacation.

I had been working with them for a couple of days already, and given how small the class was and how flexible the curriculum, we were able to turn on the news and watch the coverage. My mother had called my cell phone frantically, as she'd already been watching the first tower burning. She was crying so hard I couldn't understand what she was saying. I hadn't yet turned on the news myself, and the blurb on the radio was so minimal I just had no idea. I had no idea.

I watched with 5 fourteen year old kids as the second plane hit. It happened so fast, and the news reporter we were watching was so shocked at what he was seeing, we didn't fully grasp what had just happened.

It took a few days but the school did get a call from the teacher for whom I was subbing. She was fine and hadn't been in the area at the time, but since all flights were canceled she couldn't get out yet. She was going to rent a car and drive out of state to fly home. The kids were relieved she was okay, but I don't think any of them would ever be the same. I certainly wasn't.

I remember voting for George W. Bush that election, because the anger I felt had not faded yet and his speeches promising to take out all the bad guys made me feel good. I wanted revenge. I later started to feel sick from all of the songs made about 9/11. Of course people had a right to express their feelings but I started to feel like my emotions were being exploited by the media. It was disgusting to me.

I guess what I am trying to say is, it's all so complicated. Because loss is complicated. Murder is complicated. Forgiveness is complicated.

I have a friend at school who is an asylee from Afghanistan. She had to live in Pakistan for most of her adult life due to the war, and now things in Pakistan are getting worse. She is attending law school here with the hopes that she will be able to return home and help in the reforming of her country. She is brave and a wonderful person.

Like I said, it's complicated. The point is, my feelings when 9/11 happened were black and white. Then at some point everything went gray. I will never forget, but more importantly I will never forget the lessons I've learned. I hope none of us do.

Ups and Downs

2010-09-06T16:01:00.000-07:00

Now that we are all settling into school, things are getting interesting.

First, a surprising number of people have become very vocal about their struggles to grasp the material and get themselves into a good study routine. I thrive on a forced reading schedule, but that is not the case for everyone. It is super easy to get distracted and let your discipline fall away.

Two people who confessed their panic to me (separately) are very different. We all feel these feelings of frustration, inadequacy, and drowning. Everyone handles it differently but even though I know that (and have researched it tirelessly) I was still put off when people started talking about it.

Student A told me about his feelings, and I was not surprised. He seems a sensitive person who is generally more creative than organized. This doesn't diminish his intelligence at all, it's just that he is the type you expect to display his feelings when he is overwhelmed. I counseled him as best I could, and he told me his mom had some good (if not a little tough) advice.

Student B is very vocal, talks a lot in class, and is generally very confident in appearance. When he told me he was struggling I was very surprised. He would have been someone I would have talked to if I were overwhelmed! And it both helps to know he struggles and makes me feel worse. Law school is full of double-edged swords like that.

Another example is that once people start to get more (or less, depending) comfortable, their belief systems and opinions start to come out. I've butted heads with a few already. I know this is part of the experience, but I get so upset when someone (who believes in something SO passionately) gets upset when they learn I don't agree with them. A difference of opinion in my eyes is not a deal-breaker when it comes to friendship. They may not see it that way either, but when they jump my shit I sort of feel like they are drawing a line in the sand. I just want to avoid the conflict.

On the flip-side, I have been getting to know even more of my classmates. One couple, who live together and are both 1L, came by this weekend for game night. It was one of the funnest nights I've had in a long time. We laughed until we cried and it felt awesome. I took a few hours today to do reading for Contracts and Torts, which are the only two classes I have tomorrow. I could go even further and prepare for some of Wednesday, but I'd rather do it during my super long break tomorrow.

I even took some time and watched The Paper Chase today. People had warned me not to, but I've decided I'm quite capable of resisting outside influence regarding my own stress levels. I enjoyed the movie, and I don't feel more intimidated at all.

I feel (at the moment) like I'm getting into a good rhythm. I am still a semi-zombie by the end of the day but that is more due to over-stimulation than stress (yes, something my toddler and I have in common.) I know things will change when my Methods paper is due in October, but for now I'm feeling pretty good.

One more thing, I've been suckered into running a student club. It wasn't on purpose, and it will be super low commitment, but I have to do some initial paperwork to get funding. I'm still debating if I care enough to do that. It's a monthly activity for student parents and their partners, so it's not that big of a deal. I was going to name it PALS (Parents Attending Law School) but someone took the name already (Persians Attending Law School) so I'll have to come up with something else.

I may skip the formalities altogether and just have people pay their own way for activities (or only do free ones) but it would be nice for the school to kick in some cash for a party or two. We'll see I guess, I have one month to submit paperwork.

So that's what's up with me. I have some great stories on the backburner, and once things die down I will let you all in.

I feel guilty for making fun of SOT. However, his behavior the other day was exceptionally egregious. More about that later.

Quickies

2010-08-31T20:13:00.000-07:00

Mr. Silk has been renamed S.O.T, because that's what he thinks he is. Email me if you want to know what it stands for.

I think S.O.T waxes his chest.

I should be doing Torts, Contracts, CivPro, and Legal Research reading right now.

But I'm not.

It Hurts

2010-08-30T17:01:00.000-07:00

My head is killing me. I think it may have something to do with the very loud concert I went to last night (Doobie Brothers). I was good though, I did all my reading beforehand and got home by 10:30. I got my 8 hours of sleep in and spent time this afternoon finishing my reading for tomorrow. I did not bring a book home with me. I wanted to have tonight to do whatever I felt like doing.

And now I have a goddamn headache.

Lamesauce.

In other news, my mom and I got to go backstage and see the band after the concert. I got a picture taken with the lead guitarist and hugs from the rest. It was super fun and an awesome show.

Today in both Torts and Contracts I immensely enjoyed the lectures and the cases we went over. Tonight for fun I think I will watch The Paper Chase. The curiosity is just killing me!

Finished the First Week

2010-08-27T21:13:00.000-07:00

I survived the first week of law school. (Well, the first real one anyway.) I think it's quite an accomplishment, as it is true what they say. Law schools do not ease you in, they just shove you in face-first. So far, I am deeply impressed with the quality of the staff and faculty. In my day I've encountered a fair share of bad teachers. There are those who hate their jobs, those who are bored, those who are on a power trip, those who are passionate but inarticulate, and my favorite, the lechers.

I haven't seen any of that, yet. Professor K scared the crap out of me on the first day. He came in two minutes late and immediately said, Mr. Smith, list the facts in Case v. Case. Luckily the student was prepared and began explaining the case. Professor K kept it coming, tossing it out and slamming it back. My first impression of him when he walked in was dead wrong. I think most people have the same first impression and his teaching style compensates. He's very impressive and deadly smart. I left feeling sick to my stomach.

That night, I prepared better for the class. Had I been Mr. Smith, I would have failed utterly. The next day, I felt much better and quite enjoyed the class. The day after that, I gave an argument the professor said he enjoyed and gave me a "Well done."

Torts was scary too. I can see how contracts and torts require a very strong teacher. They're heavy subjects and do not lend themselves well to lecture-style teaching. Socratic seems to work great for them. That said, I am glad they are the only Socratic style courses I have.

Every upperclassman I spoke with told me I was "lucky" to have Professor T for torts. People really like him. Visiting speakers and attorneys throughout the valley will ask you when they hear you're a law student, "Hey, how is Professor T doing?"

And yet people told me he was scary. And he is. I also really like him and now I get how people can both like and fear a professor. He's brutal. He tells you when you're wrong. Interrupts you when in the first two words out of your mouth he knows you're off track (and HE KNOWS) and moves on to the next person. But once he sees you're squirming and miserable he will cut you a break.

He reassured us by telling us if we fuck up royally we lose no points. If we do awesome, we gain points. He encouraged us to guess, to make stuff up, to try. We have nothing to lose and he could care less if we don't get it right.

Apparently his exams are crazy. He will list a sentence from the casebook with two blanks and you are expected to fill them in. Harsh, man.

I'm not sure how I feel about CivPro. I know a lot of people hate the subject. My professor is really good though. I felt sort of lost the first couple of days because she stays so true to the textbook. It's sort of rare for a professor to do that. I wasn't sure how to study, it wasn't like I could just keep reading the textbook. I think I'm getting a handle on it now but only time will tell.

After advice from friends I've edited this post. I don't want to upset any classmates. I'm still going to make amusing comments about classmates, but I'm going be a little more non-specific. I'm keeping the nicknames, but I will probably use them for multiple people. Gigi will be code for girl gunner, and JoJo will be code for boy gunner. We'll see how that goes.

Sex on Toast (S.O.T) is way too hilarious to edit out. I hope no guy in the class suspects it's him, but if he does, hey it is a pretty flattering nickname.

Finding a Rhythym

2010-08-26T21:12:00.001-07:00

Just when I thought I had the hang of this whole thing. Tuesdays and Wednesdays suck. I don't know whose genius idea it was to put four out of five of my classes on Wednesday, but I'm not a fan. I start at 9am and go all the way until 4:10. I have a one hour break in between. This means my Tuesday sucks, because I have to study between classes and most of the night. Wednesday sucks, because I don't have time between all the classes to get reading for Thursday done. And, since we have a class for days in a row, it's not like I can read more than one day ahead of time, it just wouldn't work.

Here is what it looks like:

(T=Torts M=Legal Methods C=Contracts P=Civil Proced. R=Legal Research)

Monday	T	Big Break		C
Tuesday	M	Big Break		C
Wednesday	T	0 break	P	C	0 break	R
Thursday	T	0 break	P
Friday	M		P

As you can see I have Civil Procedure and Contracts three days in a row, and Torts nearly three days in a row. The Legal Methods/Research course I think I can handle cramming for, but CivPro, Torts and Contracts are pretty brutal and require a lot of focus. Arlene came up with a great study schedule for herself and I am going to try to do the same. It's sort of tough doing it with technology, I long for one of those big desktop calendars you can color on with markers or pencil etc. Of course I can get one for my office, but that won't help me much since I'm trying to do as much studying at school as possible. I am not sure how well that is going to work, we'll have to see. It's frustrating because people talk so much and so loudly, even in the library. I know things will quiet down once people are all caught up. "HOW WAS YOUR SUMMER!! OMG!!!!"

Ugh. I swear 2 and 3L's don't remember what their first week was like or you'd think they'd shut the hell up. Not that I'm bitter.

I am quite enjoying class, although a couple of my professors scare the hell out of me. I've spoken in class a few times. Only 2/5 professors are staunch socratics, so that's nice. I enjoy it to a point and I'm not that scared about when it's my turn, but I can't stand sitting there squirming while someone else gets grilled. Same reason I can't watch The Office; I over-empathize. *cringe*

I see now why people "gun." I don't think it's their ego, I think it's because they want to get the guy being grilled to get the right answer so we can all stop being so uncomfortable.

I think Contracts may be my favorite class. I did NOT see that one coming.

Law School Into Week

2010-08-21T15:12:00.000-07:00

Intro week is officially over, and the real deal begins Tuesday. Here are my impressions (and the characters I've met) so far. The girl I met in the spring at Preview Day (we'll call her Lola) is awesome. I like her, I like her hubby, and we all have lots in common. We hung out the first day and met a lot of other people. Another awesome girl, Arlene, hooked up with us too and we had an instant trio. Fun times already, and I think we all felt more secure knowing we could lean on each other at the very least. We laugh A LOT but they are both really smart and I feel like we will all get along great and be supportive academically as well. We've already decided we're friends for life (or law school at the minimum) and the dive Chinese place we went to had ominous fortunes for us. We decided to keep them all. Mine said something like "Never underestimate yourself, human beings have unlimited potentials." Lola's said "You're never too old to learn." I can't remember Arlene's but it was similar. We all felt like it was just what we needed that day. Then it rained on us as we ran back to school.

I got myself a new backpack from Costco today, I think it's more waterproof than my other one and my laptop fits into the laptop sleeve inside. I feel safer knowing that. It also has a lot more pockets and places to stash all my crap, which is significant given I'm slightly nomadic during the school week.

I've made some male friends too. One, who I'll call Mr. Sweet, has an awesome wife and adorable kid. I'm going to form a parents group and I think they will be an integral part. I haven't really met anyone I didn't like. Every person there is super smart but also really friendly. There are the characters, of course, and while they can be quirky or annoying they are all really nice people.

Mr. Boom - Very loud, large-built guy who can be a bit condescending but is obviously just a Type A like myself. (Seeing yourself in others can be annoying)

Mr. Sweets - Caring family man starting over late in life. Great personality and while quiet at times seems quite ambitious.

Mr. Silk - This guy loves the sound of his own voice. I'm sure he's nuts about the rest of himself too. Harmless and funny, but wants to make sure everyone knows that.

Lola - All the best things about myself are reflected in her, which makes for a kindred spirit sort of friendship. Great for a laugh. Brutally intelligent.

Arlene - Sweet and incredibly spunky. Do not get on her bad side, or there will be tiny fists in your future. (Figuratively speaking, of course.) Also really smart, determined, highly organized. Hilarious to boot.

I'm sure there will be more, but these are the ones who stood out while writing this.

I haven't met any of my actual professors yet, as most of them were still on vacation. There were those who helped out with Into Week, but I won't have any of them until 2nd or 3rd year.

I haven't decided how to handle stories. I want to be open and honest in my blog, but I also don't want it to be anonymous. I don't want to piss anyone off, but if I feel like I need to rant I don't want to be barred. How to handle that?

Incidentally, I made an idiot of myself and now Lola, Arlene and I have an inside joke.

While pulling up my schedule to show it to Arlene, some of my classes looked different. I couldn't see my Torts class on the list. "Where is my torts class?!?" I freaked out. "Did they drop it somehow?" I was panicking. I don't know why, but I was. It didn't make sense, the total credits still added up correctly, but Torts was missing. Then Arlene says, "You're looking at Spring 2011." Whoops.

So now whenever one of us starts panicking someone bellows "WHERE IS MY TORTS CLASS! IT'S NOT THERE!!"

And we all crack up. I feel like 5% idiot when that happens, but hey, it really was funny.

We've Only Just Begun...

2010-08-17T19:45:00.000-07:00

TO LIVE!!!!!

I finished my second day of school today. I have to say, I am SO relieved I decided to go. It would have been a huge mistake to miss out on this opportunity. The scambloggers really freaked me out, and for that I am grateful. It forced me to think long and hard about what I really wanted and how much I wanted it. It forced me to do the math and work out how much we can live on and how much we need to borrow. It forced me to have alternative plans if I can't get a lawyer job and how to survive if I have to settle for something different than I originally set out for. In short, I have my eyes wide open for this process and I don't think it ever hurts to be terrified of something so huge.

I absolutely love school. I love the professors I've met so far. The administration is awesome. The career staff are blunt and honest about prospects but damned determined to beat the odds and find jobs for everyone. The students I have met are fantastic and I've already made a couple of friends with whom I have a lot in common.

Also, being in Home State I am oddly happy when wine is served at a function, which thus far has been every single one. They're like grownups! (In the county where I grew up alcohol was NEVER EVER EVER served at work or school functions. In fact, it is illegal to do so in public buildings that are not bars unless you pay to have a bar-catering service and that is also not allowed in most public buildings.)

I've briefed a case. I've made an outline. I've read a textbook. So far so good, and I am really enjoying it.

One more thing: I was right about how helpful my Medieval Lit classes would be. If I can break down Beowulf (and translate it) I can handle legalese. We haven't had too much heretofore hence wherefore thus pursuant to stuff going on yet, but I've managed to get through what they've given me.

I am going to be starting a parents' group, as I haven't found one existing so far. A lot of parents expressed interest when I mentioned it at the picnic tonight. I think we'll have a great time and be a good resource for each other.

Bad Photos

2010-08-13T18:43:00.000-07:00

As promised, here are pics. The lighting in my office is sort of weird so these pictures aren't all that impressive. Also the whole thing feels sort of disjointed and sparse, but it's not like that in real life.

The redone desk and the new art wall. I stuck some random photos up there for now, because my other art isn't ready to be hung. It's still all curvy from being rolled up. I got some replicas of the Declaration and the Constitution that I am considering hanging there. We'll see what happens. Sorry it's so crooked, but it's hard to get far enough away to capture the whole thing.

Up close to the new art wall.

My favorite place in the house; the reading nook.

The writing desk and my antique armoire. Unfortunately the writing desk and chair are currently more practical than attractive, but they'll do for now.

And there you have it! The office is (more or less) done!

I'm About to Lose Control and I Think I Like It

2010-08-12T23:07:00.000-07:00

I'm so excited! (Hey does anyone remember when Hot Sundae (AKA Kelly Kapowski, Lisa Turtle, and Jessy Spano) sang that song in that episode of Saved By the Bell where Jessy has a drug problem? Cause every time I sing it in my head I hear her voice going "I'm so excited! I'm so excited! I'm so... (horsey squeal sob) SCARED! (more sobbing) and Zack Morris totally takes care of her and helps her kick the stims.)

That was a lot of parentheses. Sorry. Ahem.

Anywho, so I am excited. First, because though I failed miserably at getting the quilt done I did accomplish two major things tonight. I finished baby proofing our cupboards and drawers AND the toilet. No more Abigail pulling all the tupperware lids out of the drawer and throwing them about the kitchen. No more Abigail dipping her pacifier in the potty. No more Abigail coming out of the bathroom with Brian's flossing sticks or my nail polish or lipstick or bottles of hairspray. w00t! And I can return the drill I borrowed from my friend Sarah like two months ago.

I also started a new project I am very very excited about. I have issues. Sarah makes amazing artwork using woodblock technique. If you don't know what that is, read this so you can appreciate her awesomeness. She was working on a new motif when I came by one day, and saw her proof pieces. I begged her to let me have them and she did! So I have these two great pieces I want to hang in my office. They are not standard size, and framing them feels like it will sort of kill the homemadeness. I've been having this dilemma with some photos I want to have printed, as well as little handmade cards and things I make or receive. Frames are expensive, especially custom ones or especially large ones. So I used Google to get ideas of how to avoid this and came upon this site. Awesome idea.

The hardware store didn't have the S-hooks in a small enough size, nor the bulldog clips, so I will have to get those later. I got the wire up, and though it was a little tricky it looks REALLY good. I'm quite proud of how level and evenly spaced the two wires are. I promise to put up some pics as soon as it's all done.

For now I am using my 1L textbooks to flatten the artwork, as it has been rolled up while I've been decorating the office.

Oh, I also bought a staple gun. I am going to reupholster and reshape a sofa, you just watch me! I will post before and after of this as well.

So, I think these projects are being fueled by equal parts excitement and terror. School starts ON MONDAY. What the hell am I doing starting projects like this? No way am I going to have time in the near future for anything but panicking and banging my head against the wall while learning the 1L ropes.

Still, I think it's going to be awesome.

Time Is Running Out

2010-08-11T16:11:00.000-07:00

It's Wednesday. Four more days and I'm a law student. The first welcome event is on Sunday night. I can't believe how quickly the time has gone by. I'm excited but also a little disappointed in myself. I didn't get the quilt done. I just haven't had the motivation. However, I've decided to just stay at school all day and treat it like a full time job. The hope is that by doing this I will still get to be a person when I get home at night (except for before exams.)

I've almost finished the text we're supposed to read before orientation. I've purchased some professional clothes to wear to events. I'm hoping to slim down so I don't want to buy too much just yet. I quite like the blazer I just got.

It's all just happening so fast!

Californication

2010-08-11T00:38:00.001-07:00

I should really get to bed. I find myself staring at the television, willing myself to turn it off. The fan spins overhead, causing the blinds to flutter. Katat. Katat. Katat. The show is beautiful and sad, though I don't know if other people would see it that way. It's funny and cynical and frankly quite pornographic. I'm sure the critics eat it up.

I keep swimming in his eyes, that gorgeous former UFO hunter with his wry smile and leathery voice. Every time I see breasts I think it's so sad for his wife, knowing each scene fueled his sickness. Is she still his wife? I'm not even sure. I could Google it but that just feels like stalking.

I find it extremely unfair that they show so much female skin and I don't get to see more of him.

It's thought-provoking. I feel like I want to write. I want to be Hank Moody, self-deprecating and deep, intelligent and brutal. I don't think there is enough whiskey in the world to make me into that.

I used to write so much. At the time I felt pretty brilliant, but now when I go back and read any of it I feel pissed. Emo is no longer cool.

I should really get to bed. I've watched 4 episodes tonight.

Katat. Katat. Katat.

My Landlord Is Better Than Yours

2010-08-06T11:47:00.000-07:00

I woke up to a power outage this morning. I decided to spend the time cleaning up, which was a good distraction from my COMPLETELY HORRIFIC separation from the Interblags. Sad! So I got the kitchen cleaned up and Abigail was napping (which is when I usually get to peruse the Webosphere). A knock at the door and it's my landlord, letting me know that he called the power company and they said it wouldn't be back on until late afternoon. It's going to be a hot mother here today, so I was pretty much dreading no air conditioning. Brian has the car today, so I was bummed I'd be trapped in Hot City with no way to cook and no access to the Blargoblag.

Another knock at the door an hour later, and my landlord presented me with a pizza, breadsticks, and sauce!

Of course, the power had come on five minutes before that, so his well-intentioned efforts to feed us when we couldn't cook were all for naught. Except he doesn't know how much I love pizza, oh boy am I going to reward him for his awesomeness. I'm thinking a sugar-free cake or something. (He's a diabetic, which means he made the trip to Little Caesars SOLELY FOR ME.) Like I said, awesomeness.

Anyone know any good diabetic-friendly recipes for people who are only half competent at baking?

I Want to Quit the Gym!

2010-08-02T09:46:00.000-07:00

When we moved across the street we decided we should probably cancel our cable. So I called in to see what sort of deals they could give us, and they talked me into staying. Not too difficult, as I sort of figured we could just cancel later. Then the following things happened and pushed me to cancel.

1. For one month straight, we almost never used the cable TV. When we did, it was to play Mickey Mouse for Abby in the morning.
2. They screwed up my billing and charged me two late fees I didn't deserve.
3. They charged us 40 for installation and didn't disclose it beforehand.
4. Our bill was supposed to go from 120 a month to around 80 a month with the promo they were giving us, but instead went up to 170.

So, we hauled our cable box and remote (did you know they charge you 25 cents a month to rent THE REMOTE) and told them we wanted to shut off our cable but keep our internet. The girl looked at me and told me I would be charged a 14.00 fee for downgrading and the price of my internet would go up to 52 a month. I said fine.

She smiled and said "Let me see if I can get you a promo deal."

BAM! $19.99 a month for 6 months. NICE! So we went down from 170 to 20!

NICE. And we don't miss the TV at all!

Now I just have to figure out how to change banks. I have so many things set to come out automatically. Sure, I can turn off the auto-pay and set it up with the new bank information. In the meantime, I have no idea what account things will come out of or when. Companies are so unreliable when you have to make changes, but things have been running so smooth for so long. But, my bank is getting really annoying. They keep trying to sell me crap when I just want to make a deposit. They close down my online banking username with no explanation, then when I call they're all "Oh, I don't see any problems, try it again." and of course it works fine. Which means the person checked a box and reactivated it, then lied about it. (A proven call center technique to avoid conflict.) Stupid bank.

* I try not to be a conspiracy theorist, but I did post a reply to an article about my bank and their annoying upsell practices recently. The same day my online access was cut off. Coincidence?

Bar Review

2010-07-29T14:10:00.001-07:00

Last night was Bar Review (again, a bar outing with fellow law students, not actual review for the Bar) but the law students were skipping the trivia portion due to conflicts for Bar takers.

I had a friend willing to go with me to trivia in spite of this. We tried to get more people, but everyone had finals or work to deal with so we were resolved to lose and lose badly. Luckily, a team of only three asked of any small teams would want to combine. Steve recognized two of the guys are recent winners and knew hooking up with them would greatly increase our chances. There were nearly 30 teams and we ended up beating them all! I take credit for a few of the questions. Of note was popular product slogans translated into Middle English. You had to figure out the slogan, and then come up with the brand. We got all of them and earned quadruple points for the round. We beat the next team down by 11 points, which is a LOT. The hosts were shocked at how much we scored!

After trivia, I went back and found the law students. I had a great conversation with the Student Bar Association president. Everyone was so friendly and supportive and they were often shocked that an incoming 1L had shown up. I guess I get some Awesome Points for that.

I am so excited for school. During his advice giving, the president (Tomu) told me this would be the best 3 fucking years of my life. He is the only one who has said that to me and I appreciated his optimism. I love learning and I'm excited to get started. What a great way to get revved up for school, winning 50 bucks worth of alcohol!

These Are the Days

2010-07-25T21:14:00.000-07:00

Time keeps slipping away but I am trying as much as possible to slow things down and enjoy the time I have left with my darling baby. I am going to miss her so much during the day, but I also know I will be completely in love with learning.

Today we picked up a little wading pool (and by little I mean SO VERY TEENY) to put on our patio. Our friends across the street brought Rachel over and the girls played for hours. It was really fun and they were so very cute.

I picked up Abigail's hot pink ruffly swimsuit at a consignment shop. It was 4 bucks and Ralph Lauren. Not too shabby!

This smile makes all choices worth it, even the hard ones.

It's All Coming Together

2010-07-20T21:49:00.001-07:00

A few quickies before I force myself to study and then drag my sorry self to bed.

1. We got childcare all settled for Abigail this fall. I was stressing about it, because I really wanted our previous part time babysitter to watch her again, but this time it would be full time and I was worried that her vegetarian beliefs may present a problem. I know it sounds lame, but I really want both of us to be comfortable and if it was going to bug her I didn't want to force her to do it. I also firmly believe meat is good for kids, and wasn't willing to compromise. I also wanted to see what her terms would be, and as we're friends too discussing money is somewhat uncomfortable for me. She was TOTALLY supportive and all her answers to my questions made me feel completely at ease. She even told me she is developing a baby learning curriculum to use while she watches Abigail. Much better than a normal sitter, and she won't be watching any other kids which makes me feel much safer. Oh, and she's a certified foster mom in Home State and I know all the classes and training you have to do for that. So I know Abby will be safe.

2. I finally got a printer and a bunch of supplies for school. It's sort of shocking what a few years out of school does to your supplies. I can't live without highlighters or Post-its.

3. While in D.C. I purchased lots of fun things for myself, including a nice pen. I like having a nice pen, it makes me feel all official. The bonus of this is that the pen is a penlight, and the light is really bright (probably LED) and it projects the seal of the US Patent and Trade Office. (I got it at their museum gift shop.) I think it's quite nifty.

4. I got my office mostly set up. I still need to find a chair somewhere, although I honestly don't know how much I'll be sitting at my desk. I have the huge overstuffed chair and ottoman (now nicely slip covered) in my little reading nook and I know I'll spend a lot of time there. For the hairy stuff though, requiring a table to spread out books etc. I think I'll probably just use the library at school. We'll see how it goes.

5. I'm about 2/3 of the way through the required book for orientation week. I'm quite enjoying it, which makes me super nerdy I think.

6. All the passion I felt about law school when I attended Admitted Students' Day has come back. All that hemming and hawing about whether to go is melting away as I prepare, and knowing Abigail will be in a happy and safe place each day has really helped with that.

7. I think some of my undergrad legal courses have ruined me, because I read the title "Whose Monet" and immediately guessed the conclusion and started rambling in my head about conversion. No surprises for me I guess!

8. I have roughly three weeks to finish my quilt. I finally succumbed and picked it up off the floor so I could actually use my office, but I numbered all the squares so I can keep working on it. I am determined to actually finish it before school starts.

9. Abigail has been exceptionally cuddly since she came home from Nana and Bompa's house. I think she subconsciously knows I am going to miss her so much when I am in school and is giving me the extra loves I need. Here she is wearing Nana's glasses.

Poop Brownies

2010-07-17T11:23:00.000-07:00

In the local religious culture, you are not supposed to watch rated R movies. It's not forbidden, but it's discouraged. The following analogy relates to this rule.

A father and daughter are chatting over breakfast one morning. The daughter asks if she can go with friends to watch a particular rated R movie. The father of course, says no.

"But Daddy, it's not a bad movie! It has one or two bad parts in it but the rest is all fine!"

The father still says "no." The daughter says she hates him and flees to her room.

The next day she comes home from school and finds her dad waiting for her.

"Hi honey! I made you some brownies."

"Oh thanks Daddy! I love you!"

"Now before you eat these brownies you should know I used only the finest ingredients to make them. Except for one thing."

"What?"

"I put a teeny-tiny bit of dog poop in them."

"What?!? Eww gross!!"

"Now now, it's only a teeny-tiny bit of poop. The rest of the brownies are really good!"

"How can you say that! They're ruined!"

"Well now you can see how just a tiny bit of evil can ruin something, just like your rated R movie."

YIKES. What a load of crap (well, just a teeny-tiny bit really) but applied in a different context it can have a good moral.

I try to explain all the time why I am such a stickler for the law, but people don't get it. When I mention that I can't bring alcohol into Home State people often suggest I do it anyway.

Just because I can get away with it doesn't mean I should do it, yet people don't understand.

A little bit of law-breaking can ruin me, and how can I expect to offer justice when I am ruined?

Language Lover

2010-07-09T19:35:00.000-07:00

This week I am in Vienna, VA visiting friends. This was a great opportunity for us to get out and see something amazing before starting law school. It was also a chance for us to reconnect before we are severed as I turn into a law school drone and forget how to be human. We decided to take it, and I'm so glad we did.

Our friends are an amazing couple who we've become close to through sheer happenstance. Brian's older brother Mark, who died in October, had been close friends with "J" in his early school days. J went on to become an attorney, and when he flew in for the funeral we had a chance to talk. He offered to give advice about law school, and several hours of phone calls ensued. He visited Home State recently, and offered to host us if we were ever in the area. We've always wanted to see D.C., so of course we made arrangements right away. We've also always wanted to tour wine country, so we added Virginia's wine country to our list of sites.

What an amazing trip this has been. We've toured the capitol building and the George Washington Masonic Memorial (AWESOME). The first winery we visited gave us 25 different wines to sample! We bought a couple of bottles to drink while visiting, as it's illegal for us to bring or ship anything to Home State. (LAME) I especially enjoyed visiting the National Archives, and getting to see the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution. I got quite teary eyed over the whole thing. People thought I was a nerd. I probably could have won their understanding if I explained I'm a doe-eyed idealistic law student.

We crammed in as much as possible, but of course we know that we're going to miss out on some things. I'm definitely ready to go home now. I miss my baby so much. I can't believe it's been a week since I've last held her. She of course, has been having too much fun at "Bompa and Nana"'s house.

Helping Bompa mow the lawn.

Sleepy girl.

I've missed her so much. I've called every night to talk to her, but I can tell it's more for me than her.

Still, the sacrifice was worth it (LOL I KNOW) to be able to have this time with Brian before school starts.

I also got some amazing photos. I particularly like this one:

/Deep breath

2010-07-01T21:48:00.000-07:00

This is going to be a seriously insane few days. Tomorrow is Brian's birthday bbq (also our friend Jeremie's birthday bbq) and we're going down for that. We do the combined birthday party every year and it's super fun. Plus, MOJITOS!!! And we'll be crashing there.

Then off to Brian's parents, spending time with them before we leave town. And we'll be crashing there.

Then to our friends' place to relax and play. And we'll be crashing there, because they live close to the parade route and we love having sleepovers at their house.

Crack of dawn Monday, we're off to the parade. It's a tradition, despite how much I am not looking forward to the horrible heat. And sunblock. And sleepy grumpy 1 year old. Then back to my parents' place to hang for a bit, before leaving her with them.

Home on Monday, flight to DC on Tuesday.

This will be the longest I've ever left the baby. I'm sort of freaking out, though I am really excited about our trip. It is going to be amazing, and an awesome break before I start law school.

Still, I am freaking out about how busy it is going to be the next few days. I'm going to need a vacation after all the festivities.

"It's Chair City, and I'm the Guy Who's...

2010-06-26T21:26:00.000-07:00

Sitting in a chair!"

Bonus points if you get the Friends reference.

My parents delivered to me, by sheer magic, the chair below. It has a matching ottoman. When I said I wanted an oversize chair and ottoman for the reading nook in my office (AKA Law School Dungeon) theirs were the model I was using in my head. I've always loved the set. Not so much for the southwestern fabric, but for the shape and the comfy-scale ranking.

It has been serving as a bed for their super-spoiled 90lb Boxer "Junior" and subsequently displays the abuse to go with it. It bears tears in the fabric, worn areas, and about fifty million dog hairs. My vacuum, which could suck the hair right off my skin, doesn't even TOUCH the hairs embedded in the fabric.

The condition (and hairiness) led me to seek out options for recovering it. Upholstering would be expensive, and I was worried a slip cover may end up looking like this:

My apologies to the woman who blogged that particular slipcover to market her custom slipcover business. But honestly! The chair she had before looked perfectly fine before she did this to it.

We don't wear huge floral RUFFLES in real life unless some bridezilla forces us, I don't want it in my house ON DISPLAY.

I kept searching and found these amazing looking Sure Fit brand slipcovers. They are super stretchy and have elastic around the bottom, so they conform to the shape of your chair. I was really nervous it wouldn't fit, or it would not look as good as it does in the pictures. For real, this picture doesn't look half as good as it does in person (since it's a suede-like fabric the camera shows all the little hand prints etc.) The color is actually wine (and matches the wine/black stripe in the original fabric, so I don't have to recover the ottoman until later.) These slipcovers are really expensive, about 90 for a chair cover and 50 for an ottoman cover. I lucked out and found a deal on eBay for 22 bucks. The guy happened to be local and I met with him and saw some of his other inventory. EXCELLENT DEALS! Anyway, here it is!

One step closer to awesome officeness! I just need to find myself a wooden office-chair that isn't horribly uncomfortable.

If you are looking for great deals, have a look at the guy's eBay store:

Global Sales

Friday Fundamental

2010-06-25T15:12:00.000-07:00

Every Friday I will be posting about something I am ordinarily too afraid to mention but frequently encounter. Friday Fundamental will consist of a funny or annoying grammar or spelling error I have come across during the previous week. I do not correct people when they make these mistakes, because it is rude, but sometimes I get really really pissed off. Other times I crack up completely. I need a place where I can be a snob and not upset the offending (and therefore offended) parties. Also, I think it will be fun.

I should mention, I will (generally) not be targeting people like myself, who make stupid and silly errors out of distraction or being too hurried. I make mistakes like this all the time, and I am not a hypocrite. Typos are also (except in cases of extreme humor) exempt. No, I will be looking for multiple and chronic offenders. I will also be seeking out professional gaffes, because you KNOW 20 people had to pass on it and yet NO ONE noticed an error. This may include a marketing scheme or ad that makes absolutely no sense.

Your submissions are welcome! Feel free to post a link in the comments.

This week: Reading things out loud

Sometimes we our so far into our head we don't take the time to read things out loud. This is important when dealing with words that are spelled close to similar words, but with different form or meaning.

I came across the following example in the local paper, and it gave me a good chuckle. I've altered the image slightly so the company won't sue, but I think you'll appreciate the sentiment.

Misuse of ellipses aside, if you just read this outloud even in the foggiest state you should be able to get the mistake. The ad was smack in the middle of a story I was reading and kept going down with me as I scrolled, so it was getting on my nerves. The annoyance forced me to read it (THE HORROR!) and that's when I got a good chuckle.

I am such a nerd.

"She's a maniac, maniac..."

2010-06-23T21:36:00.000-07:00

I normally post babyriffic tidbits over at One Crazy Ride but this is too cute to not share. Sorry it's so dark. I brightened it in Quicktime but it doesn't seem to save it.

Why yes, that is a Soothie in her mouth. And one in her hand. As the video goes on she proceeds to keep swapping between the two, the little weirdo.

Hurry Hurry School Starts Soon!

2010-06-22T13:23:00.000-07:00

I started a little project back in October. I hacked up all of Abigail's clothes from her first year. I just couldn't bring myself to donate/sell/toss them, when some of those outfits she wore when she was first born or were particular favorites. So, I decided to make a quilt. After cutting the clothes up and making uniform shapes, I made a quilt design. I did it in Excel and it looked like this:

And then I never did anything with it. I bought a sewing machine to use but with the different types of fabric (some stretchy, some not, some cut against the bias, some the opposite) the machine just wasn't cutting it. So I decided to do it by hand. I needed to be able to lay the whole thing out, because of the design I wouldn't really know where to stop colorwise, but had no place to do it where a particular 1 year old would not destroy it. I decided I absolutely have to get this done before school starts, and determined as soon as we moved into our new place I would get to work.

We moved in on Monday, unpacked on Tuesday, and I have now done 4 out of 18 rows. I had never actually laid out the pieces until just this week. It looks even more incredible than it did in my head. I am SO excited. This will be a cherished heirloom that I will keep forever. People keep assuming I will give it to Abigail, but c'mon, this is way too special to hand off to a rugrat or stick in a box until she's 18. I want to snuggle it, just like I snuggled my little baby when she was wearing these things. Bonus point of using old clothes, they are pre-snuggled. AND they've been washed a million times so they are easy to sew and there is no worry about shrinking or having to be ironed.

Here it is!

I may make a collage with pictures of her wearing the outfits centered around a photo of the quilt.

Bar Review

2010-06-16T08:27:00.000-07:00

Tonight is the first summer Bar Review. For you non-legal types, this has nothing to do with The Bar, it's about going to a bar and "reviewing" it. Tonight they have bar trivia and karaoke and the bar chosen is one of my favorites in SLC; Piper Down. Unfortunately I already have plans so I can't make it. BUMMER! Karaoke would be a great way to impress my classmates and I LOVE to sing. It will be nice to have a weekly non-law activity to look forward to. They seem to have a lot of things going on, including Law Prom (actually called something else but that's what people call it.) It will be fun to get all dressed up. I do so love my man in a tux.

What fun things did your law school do to keep you from slitting your wrists?

Everything Old is New Again

2010-06-09T20:44:00.001-07:00

As promised, here are pics of the desk I restored. It belonged to my brother-in-law Mark who passed away in October. He had considered going to law school himself, so I think it a fitting tribute that I should use it while I go to law school. It previously had horrendously tacky (and fairly tarnished) brass flourishy handles on it. I replaced them with these black iron ones from Lowes. As I had to drill some new holes to get them to fit, they're not entirely straight. (I didn't want to have to drill 2 new holes rather than 1, because the old holes can show. I'll fix those later.)

Here it is, all cleaned up and oiled!

Weird Dream #2

2010-06-09T08:18:00.000-07:00

As I have nothing law related to talk about, here is my crazy dream from last night (coming to a theater near you.)

I am living in an old house set up like a dorm. I have a roommate who is a good friend of mine. My mom throws a party for my birthday, with tons of fancy hors d'ouvres. I end up trying to do it with my boyfriend in her bed, so she gets mad and moves out. Kenneth from 30 Rock is there, playing a nerdy page-like college kid who lives in our building. The next morning I wake up outside, no idea how I got there, and am disappointed to find all the hors d'ouvres are gone and I didn't get any. (My mom isn't a gourmet, so I was interested in trying them.)I'm sad Roommate is gone, but get distracted by crazy redneck guy trying to shoot me with a sniper rifle from outside the window.

Cut to me driving with some guy in a Jeep to a parking lot, where I see a helicopter parked. Just as we get out of the Jeep, the guy with me gets shot. So I run and jump in the helicopter, start it up, and begin learning how to fly it. Tricky mountain-dodging, horizon-finding, freeway driver-freaking outing, adventure.

I land the helicopter back at the house, where sweet Kenneth guy comes up to me and points a gun at me. I ask him to explain, and he says I make a lousy spy. He musses up his hair and takes off his page jacket, and LOOK! It's the redneck guy! It was him all the time!

Shocking, I know. Seriously, this is what my dreams are like most of the time, it's really bad when I'm pregnant. If I'd had this dream while pregnant, I would have been out of bed dodging bullets and trying to fly a helicopter while my horrified husband watched.

Don't You EVER Touch My Child

2010-06-02T15:43:00.000-07:00

In local news today a parent accompanying his child's class on a field trip is being charged with various things for assault on some of the children. Reading the comments in my lovely little state often makes me sick, and this is no exception. One of the commenters actually justified the man hitting one child, boxing another child's ear, and grabbing another so hard a mark was left. He cites the following Home State law as evidence that this man was within his legal rights.

53A-11-802. Prohibition of corporal punishment -- Use of reasonable and necessary physical restraint or force.
(1) A school employee may not inflict or cause the infliction of corporal punishment upon a child who is receiving services from the school, unless written permission has been given by the student's parent or guardian to do so.
(2) This section does not prohibit the use of reasonable and necessary physical restraint or force in self defense or otherwise appropriate to the circumstances to:
(a) obtain possession of a weapon or other dangerous object in the possession or under the control of a child;
(b) protect the child or another person from physical injury;
(c) remove from a situation a child who is violent or disruptive; or
(d) protect property from being damaged.
(3) (a) Any rule, ordinance, policy, practice, or directive which purports to direct or permit the commission of an act prohibited by this part is void and unenforceable.
(b) An employee may not be subjected to any sanction for failure or refusal to commit an act prohibited under this part.
(4) A parochial or private school may exempt itself from the provisions of this section by adopting a policy to that effect and notifying the parents or guardians of children in the school of the exemption.

As the parent was not an employee of the school (which is a public school) section 1 does not apply.

This man was not defending himself or another child. The kids were being disruptive and rowdy on the bus, which can be unsafe. However, his actions do not (in my opinion) constitute reasonable and necessary restraint or force. Section 2 does not seem to apply.

3 and 4 are moot.

So in essence, these people are saying kids are jerks and they deserve to get smacked around.

You have GOT to be kidding me.

Advice? Why yes, I'd love some.

2010-05-31T21:05:00.000-07:00

This weekend was insane. We did a lot, and were pretty exhausted by the end of it, but in the course of the weekend shared some moments we may never forget. First, you have to know about my godparents. While my family is not Catholic, I earned myself some Catholic godparents at birth. My godfather is half-Spanish and half-Mexican. My godmother is white, but has adapted well to the lifestyle. Which, if you don't know, includes lots of alcohol. I have to prepare myself (and my poor gringo husband every time we go down there. They live in the same small town as my parents, and we've figured out a very nice arrangement to endure the hangovers and sleeping-til-noon necessity. My mom and dad take Abigail overnight, and we have much debauchery until the late afternoon the next day. But I digress.

My godparents have a daughter near my age, and as luck would have it her husband and I have a lot in common. The four of us get along great and always have (too much) fun together.

My parents kept the baby over night and we stayed up fairly late. One entire bottle of root beer schnapps later, we rolled into bed. The next morning we went for breakfast and then went to grab the baby.

My high school boyfriend passed away on Friday morning, after years fighting with a brain tumor. (Hence my desire to have a good time and distract myself the night before.) We headed up to my former best friend's house for a little get together in his honor. It was really hard for me. Around the same time John and I broke up my friends got pretty heavy into smoking pot (and the requisite lameness that goes with it) and I refused to participate. I lost my best friend (who then became best friends with my little sister, which subsequently severed the close bond we had as well). John hooked up with that friend, and they were together for several years. The get together was hard for me, because my other friend Erin and I had been close with John before this group materialized. Erin wasn't there, so it was the "new group" who was there and all the talk revolved around their time together. It was pretty largely "stupid things we did as kids" and weed related, so I didn't have much to contribute.

I ache to reminisce about the John I knew before all of this. Only Erin knows who that person was, and unfortunately she has had a hell of a month herself. Her husband's grandfather died and his sickly sister ended up on a ventilator shortly after. Then I had to call up Erin and tell her about John's passing, so all in all her month was shot. I hope she can come home soon so we can get together and have a good cry. He was my first broken heart. I'm supposed to think fondly of our time together and the lessons I learned, and imagine him "out there somewhere" with ten kids and a fat happy wife. He's not supposed to be dead at 30.

After the get together we headed up to my in-laws' for family dinner. One of our family friends was in town (he's a patent attorney) and he was ready to dispense advice about law school. He gave me his card (which has a fancy US gov't seal on it!) so I could reach him at work or at home. He had some really great tips about studying, which sound like they would work for me and my learning style. We're thinking we may go out there for vacation in July, as Brian and I both have always wanted to see Washington D.C.

Plane tickets out there are NOT CHEAP so we'll have to see how it goes. We're moving in a couple of weeks and that could sap up a fair amount of cash.

Anyway, busy busy, sorry to ramble so much!

Trivial Dilemma

2010-05-17T14:48:00.000-07:00

I have been lucky to develop a handful of readers. Some lawyers, some about to be lawyers, and some mommy-lawyers. Love to you all!

The problem is, some read this blog and some read my personal blog. I thought it would be important to keep the two separate, to spare blawg-readers my mundane baby bragging and vice versa, keep my friends and family spared from any legal ranting.

Can it be done? Should I just combine them? Should I double post entries to each?

On another note, I received a packet from The U this week, containing a form to pay my orientation fee. It feels like highway robbery, but whatever. I completely panicked and rethought law school. I started asking everyone for advice who would listen, even though everyone knows this decision is mine alone. I really want to be a lawyer, it just sucks that all those wishy-washy overachievers out there are saturating the market. Oh and there's that whole recession thing.

I've decided I'm going to do it. Again. Crisis averted. Now I just have to shell out the cash.

I've refinished my vintage desk and put new hardware on, pics to come, I promise!

I'm going to have a lovely kid-free office to use for studying. YAY!

Not to Beat a Dead Horse

2010-05-06T21:23:00.000-07:00

I got another admission letter today. I promptly tossed it, but it made me think I ought to check my financial aid status at Home State U. It showed I have been offered the full amount for federal loans. I did the math and tried to figure out if I can really avoid a PLUS loan. My mom called to tell me that the DoE sent a letter informing me I was approved for the PLUS loan.

I want to borrow as little as possible. If I can manage to only borrow enough for tuition and books that would be oh so much better in the long run. However, there is the issue of child care. And if my schedule does force me to have a 3/4 or full time babysitter that's a fair amount of money. The 20,050 max for Stafford should cover that. I was thinking I would borrow more than I need and just pay back what's left. Is that totally unrealistic? Will I just end up blowing it (I would like to think I'm better than that, but there could be unforeseen circumstances) and be stuck with more student loans at the end?

All of this again put doubts in my head. I sort of wish I had just done the last 33 credits of my degree so I would have a teaching degree. I could go back, but the expense at this point would be comparable to law school. Not to mention teachers in Home State don't make much, and I will have a hard time getting a job if I don't have a Master's. GRR.

Future Doctor/Lawyer/Astronaut/Pop Sensation

2010-05-04T09:16:00.000-07:00

I'm an auntie!! Little Avery was born yesterday. I'm so excited, and she is beautiful!

Arizona Immigration Law

2010-04-27T19:08:00.001-07:00

Behold! This is not a heavy-handed opinion-laden post about how Arizona legislators are batshit crazy.

That would be too obvious.

Plus I want to spare you all my idealistic ranting until law school actually starts.

No, this is a post about Jon Stewart.

On an episode of The Daily Show today I saw something so funny I nearly spit Pepsi out of my nose.

While having an interview with his "Immigration Correspondent" to get an explanation of the new Arizona law pertaining to stopping anyone who looks "reasonably suspicious" and asking for identification, hilarity ensued.

The "Immigration Correspondent" (does anyone know which actor this was?) begins showing photos and asking Jon to identify if they are "reasonably suspicious." It shows a photo of Dora the Explorer (ruled as suspicious by the correspondent) and a picture of Eric Estrada in his C.H.I.P.S uniform. When it shows a picture of Jeffrey Dahmer, Jon becomes alarmed and starts pointing "Him! He's a murderer! He's a cannibal! He killed lots of people!."

The correspondent replies, "Don't be ridiculous, the police aren't going to stop and arrest people for being hungry."

LOL. That was a good one. I guess you had to see it though.

So... yeah.

Yikes

2010-04-21T13:05:00.000-07:00

So last night after I posted (and edited several times) I kept reading late into the evening. It freaked me out a lot. I don't want to be stupid and naive and bullheaded and go when so many who've come before me are advising me to run screaming. But I also don't want to miss out on a great opportunity.

Even if I only borrow the 9000 for tuition/fees, and just enough to cover the babysitter (another 9000 or so) I'll still come out owing quite a bit at graduation. Add to that the fairly large amount I already owe for my undergrad and I'm pretty close to the average debt after law school.

There are a lot of horrible situations right now in legal. I agree that law schools are often really slimy about their recruiting methods and the facts and figures they present to potential students. I also agree that the market is extremely saturated because of the lack of limitations on law schools.

I don't want to be naive and think Home State is any different, or that I'm so super and shiny that I'll beat all the odds. But I really do want to be a lawyer. I love the law, even the really boring paper-pushing parts.

I looked up the average salary for a lawyer in Home State and while it's not great, it's also not so bad. I don't want to be a lawyer to make the big bucks. I want to do it because I want to make a difference. Not in the idealistic-I'm-going-to-change-the-world way, but in the if-I-can-help-change-one-person's-life-it's-worth-it way.

Last night I was practically talked out going but I've calmed down a lot. I think I'm going to do it. I love the law too much to not do it.

Staying Firm on Decisions

2010-04-20T15:38:00.000-07:00

Thanks to everyone who gave great advice on what to do with the living situation. We've decided to move, across the street! (The house with more bedrooms for an extra 200 a month.) It's just too great to pass up, and we really are strapped for space here. One of Abigail's favorite things is to rip paper up and destroy books, so having a room I can keep her out of will be very helpful.

Even better (and further evidence things work out for a reason) is that we found someone to finish out our lease and they are probably going to be our new best friends! They have a daughter not much older than Abby, and the two are already having fun playing together. The woman is a genetics fellow at the university (same as where Brian works in science as well) so we have that in common. The man stays home with the daughter while finishing his dissertation in music. They like board games and sports and have already asked if we were interested in playing games sometime. Heck yeah! We don't know any other parents in our area so this is awesome, plus since we'll be right across the street we know where to go for Abby to have a playdate. The relief of this is huge for me, because I know Abigail needs more socialization. Law school will be hard enough without constantly worrying about her.

A while back I read an article about things you should do if you go to law school. It originally came from here but I snagged it from here. One of the things in the advice was to get in shape before school starts because "law school is the land of coffee and pizza." I thought that was hilarious but I know it is true. When I toured the school the ambassador told me they often have free food there for one event or another so we'll never go hungry. I've been seriously miserable about how much weight I've gained since my brother-in-law died, and intent on losing it. I've joined a gym temporarily (the school has an excellent one just one building over from the law building) and so far I've already lost 3 pounds! Only about 30 more to go. Or 20. I'm not really sure how much to lose. I know my "normal" weight may be different than it used to be since I've had a baby, so I am not going to push it beyond what my body considers normal. As long as I'm maintaining and healthy, I am going to be happy.

Speaking of staying firm on decisions, I sure have read a lot of horribly negative blawgs lately about how no one should ever go to law school. They refer to bottom tier schools as "toilets" and say even those attending better schools are totally screwed. I'm new to the blawg world so I'm sure the whole "toilet" thing is probably normal and common, but it's all just SO negative. Half the ones I read are so bitter I don't get a good impression of the writer. It almost feels like they just couldn't hack it so they blame the "establishment." I've also read quite a few that explain my reaction to the bitterness as my own egotism. Yep, I think I'm better and smarter than all of them and therefore they can be as negative and bitter as they want and if it bugs me then well it's my own bloated ego driving me to feel that way.

I'm not ignorant or naive, I know the market sucks. I know there are hundreds of lawyers out there not practicing law or who are desperately trying to find a job and can't. However, I also know a lot of people in my area who are finding success. I know the market is coming back up and I am seeing an increase of job postings. I also know enough about myself to believe that by the time I graduate I WILL find a job. I've made good money in my career thus far, so I have something to go back to and a legal education could be a bonus, even if I'm paying for it.

Luckily, I have a deadly combination of in-state tuition and discounted tuition since Brian's an employee. I think that will help me borrow less, and maybe once I'm done if I don't have the ideal job I can get by easier knowing I have less to pay back. *sigh* We'll see, but I am determined to do this because I think I was born for it, bad economy or not.

One blawg pointed out how schools in Home State "heavily rely" on the local religious population to "fill seats." Not true, but they were right about the local religion's networking. They are tight knit, it's true and you can definitely use those connections. I am not part of the religion, but having been raised and worked in the community I do see an advantage. Maybe this will help me beat the "law school scam" too.

I hope so, because I don't want to be bitter too.

I've often commented on "technical" schools that you see ads for on TV. And massage therapy schools. And "medical professional" schools. And paralegal schools. All of these are saturating the market while simultaneously SCREWING their students with huge tuition and IN-HOUSE LENDING at ridiculous rates.

I plan on borrowing only federal low-rate (non-credit based) loans and avoiding private loans. I think I'm really lucky there too.

I feel bad for those who have come before me who've been screwed by lower-tier schools. Most Home State law grads do stay in Home State, so perhaps I'll get lucky and be able to avoid competing with all those "toilet" graduates.

The whole things sucks, and I am not trying to criticize the underground movement to change the system, it is just a bit of a shock to read it all. Plus it makes me feel bad to read that by not taking their advice (and running like hell) I'm just using my overly huge inflated head.

Thanks again to everyone, it's awesome to find more blawgers in various stages of the process.

Decisions Decisions

2010-04-15T11:06:00.000-07:00

Yet more minutiae to subject you all to. Should we live in student housing? Or take the house across the street from where we live now? I would love to stay in this house. We have a great yard (front and back), tons of parking, big rooms with storage, and a laundry room downstairs with a washer/dryer included. The rent is reasonable, but it's only two bedrooms. I sort of hate the idea of doing 100% of my studying on campus, and there is really no good (quiet/baby free) space in our house. We're starting to fill up the space we do have, and I am not a fan of getting rid of stuff and trying to make this place work.

So here are the two options:

House across the street: It has 2 bedrooms, a huge home office, a living room and family room, giant laundry room with built in storage shelving, remodeled kitchen (with a dishwasher, which we don't have here) and has the same cute-vintage feel of our current place. We won't have to rent a moving truck, we can just walk it all across the street. A couple dollies/hand trucks should be all we need.

The downside is we'll be paying 200 more a month than we are now, and the yard isn't as awesome, although it doesn't suck.

Student housing: 3 bedrooms, dining room, space for a washer and dryer in the unit, shuttle to and from the law school every 15 minutes, playground. All utilities included (including cable/internet), so we would save about 200 a month. The apartments are in walking distance to Brian's work.

The downsides are many. Living in an apartment complex sucks. The bedrooms are tiny. We'll be awfully close, so the fact I'll have a door to close to the noise may not help that much. NO storage/shelving/closet space. Parking also sucks. Having guests will be a huge pain. The kitchen has ZERO counter space.

So I know that all makes it sound like I know what to do, since there are so many more cons for the apartments, but the 200 dollar savings is a HUGE pro to me. 200 a month isn't that much in the grand scheme of things, but who knows what the future may bring?

Did any of you wonderful readers living in student family housing in law school?

How much did you study? At home? On campus?

Is it weird that having a coat closet and linen closet matters so much to me?

Trying Not to Panic

2010-04-12T21:37:00.000-07:00

The days are going by so quickly already. I am enjoying my summer off with the baby. It's routine, but we occasionally shake things up with a walk to the grocery store or library (SO EXCITING.) My biggest source of panic is how we are going to afford daycare when school starts in the fall. Had we been relocating, Brian would have stayed home and we would have maxed out my student loans to afford it. Now that we are staying in Home City, and I'll be getting a sexy tuition discount as Brian works at the university, I'm starting to worry about the baby being in daycare full time. It will be expensive and I'll worry about her safety and happiness all the time. I know kids are resilient and all, but I'm a mom so I'll worry. There are appeals I can make to try and get my COA (Cost of Attendance) increased so I can borrow more to cover daycare, but I want to borrow as little as possible. I guess I need to crunch the numbers to make myself feel better.

I wonder how other people with kids deal with it?

Wait, it was Bret Michaels.

2010-03-27T23:13:00.000-07:00

Correction, not someone I find attractive. It was Bret Michaels. But in the dream I was THRILLED he was hitting on me.

I probably included him in my dream because we went to Gamestop yesterday and I commented on the huge Final Fantasy (the new one, what is it now, 14?) poster. One of the characters is SO Bret Michaels.

Whack Dreams

2010-03-27T14:57:00.000-07:00

So as I have nothing law-schooly to discuss until August, I thought I would use the time to document my completely fucked up dreams. Anyone who's ever lived with me has heard the (often boredom inciting) phrase "I had the weirdest dream last night." So now you can all suffer too.

Last night I dreamed that I somehow got cast on Grey's Anatomy. I was new to the Hollywood scene, and for some reason Katherine Heigl decided to be nice to me and invite me along on a real estate trip. It was freshly announced that she would be leaving the show so she was house hunting. She agreed to let me (and the other female stars of the show) tag along to check out this "great" place she heard about. She flew us in her private plane, because in my brain Katherine Heigl is not only beautiful and talented, but fabulously rich and a pilot to boot. We had a majorly huge scare and almost crashed into a mountain (face down) when she managed to straighten us out at the very last second. It was very Hollywood.

We land at the private air strip and take a ridiculously long drive UP UP UP the mountain into The Hills to this Willy Wonka-esque house. The realtor met us at the gate. I took one look and could tell this place was a total dump. "How much is the listing price?" I asked. "12" says the realtor. "Thousand?" I thought in my head, but I knew she meant million. Much like most houses in Hollywood and thereabouts, it's all about the land, not so much how great the house itself is. This place was a complete monstrosity. Peeling paint, rotting drywall. But, it was 12 floors. Huge. Teeny tiny rooms, but hundreds of them. Apparently that passes for "amazing."

Someone was having a party, and people were smoking meth and doing all sorts of other horrible things. I got separated from the group and was told to just enjoy myself, but I just kept thinking houses in Home State are SO much nicer. Plus I was creeped out by all the drugged out freaks. If this is Hollywood, I'm not so sure I belong. At one point I walked in on Katherine Heigl breastfeeding her baby. Which is odd, because, didn't she adopt? I know adoptive parents can do that and all, but I didn't exactly see that happening with her. Plus, I don't recall a baby screaming as we were about to plummet to our deaths in the plane. So yeah, that was pretty much it.

At one point I also bumped into a random male super-celebrity, who hit on me. That was pretty awesome except I can't remember who it was. Definitely someone I like though, I remember that much.

Now for the fun part where I try and assess where some of these things come from.

1. I read about Heigl leaving the show and lamented that her character didn't just die of cancer when she had the chance.

2. I watched Addicted and saw a chick smoke meth, something I've never seen in real life.

3. I watched Sober House which takes place in a nice big house in the Hollywood Hills. It's one of the good ones.

So there you are, and this was one of the TAME ONES.

My Day as a Pretend Law Student

2010-03-18T20:55:00.000-07:00

Today was Admitted Students Day and boy was it a loooong day. I came home so exhausted I just shoveled some Taco Bell into my face and promptly went to bed. Thank goodness I have a loving husband who would take care of our baby while I was incapacitated. WHICH I WAS. I have not been so tired since the first trimester of my pregnancy. I slept from 6:30 to 9:30 pm and I am still barely functioning. Attempting to speak to my husband who saw what appeared to be a Hollywood zombie version of his wife stagger meekly out of the bedroom is taking every fiber of my being. Mostly I just say "Unnnnnngh." I want to write it all down while it is still fresh, however, but I will promptly pass out again after I am done. The thought of brushing my teeth physically hurts me, I am THAT tired.

The day started off pretty awesome, with the best thing it can start with, FOOD. We dished up breakfast and saddled up to tables with ambassadors who immediately started fielding the millions of questions we all have. I met a guy from Stanford who was SO frustrated that he hadn't yet heard from Harvard. Others talked about how they got into Columbia and all these other places that sound impressive, but are still considering Home State University. Well then. Home State U was my ultimate pie in the sky choice, and I just kept saying how I had gotten accepted by pure magic. I don't know where they got those onion potato things, but goddamn they were fantastic.

The Dean popped up and introduced himself and talked about the top six things the school is committed to affecting with its students. The effect of its graduates on the world as opposed to the other way around is a huge commitment Home State U makes. One of the six things was Bio/Medical, which I am hugely interested in. During the faculty panel I asked about what sort of jobs I could work in if I chose to emphasize Bio/Medical and the professor-guru of the field got all excited and told me to come see her sometime. Sounds like I would have plenty of work if I dug myself into that little niche.

I am also extremely interested in criminal law, and spent a few minutes speaking to the president of the Rocky Mountain Innocence Center. I am pretty certain I will do their clinic, though the judicial clinic sounds great too.

I attended a mock criminal law class and the professor was absolutely fantastic. If any of the other professors are half as kick-ass as he is, I am in for a seriously amazing experience.

Of course the school was wooing the undecided, so their information was biased, but the more I heard the more I was certain about my choice to attend there. About half the students are married and a large number with children, so right off the bat I have some things in common with people and a wealth of resources. The environment is incredibly collegial rather than competitive. The faculty to student ration is 8:1, which is the second best in the country. AND the professors are perpetually available to students for anything from help reviewing class materials to chatting about the game last night. They were very serious when they talked about their open-door policies, and said not enough students take advantage of that availability.

I see so many opportunities to give back to my community, and I am not worried about finding a job when I am done. Out of last year's graduating class, only 2 people are currently looking for work. The rest are employed. The salary rates are not super sexy, but I am not doing this to make the big bucks anyway and that is largely just a reflection of the current economy which is on its way up. I am not kidding myself, I know it won't be easy, but most things I do aren't so I am up for the ride.

I made my first law school friend, someone I started the day chatting with and happened to walk out with. We even exchanged phone numbers so we can help each other navigate through the coming months.

I was right, this day made me more excited than ever to begin law school. I know I am doing the right thing and I know I am doing it in the best place for me and my family. That kind of clarity is rare for me, so it feels pretty great.

Now I am going to bed. Again. I really hope I don't wake up in the middle of the night unable to sleep.

Exposing My Nerdiness

2010-03-17T12:18:00.000-07:00

I am super excited (to the point of annoying people, I'm sure) about tomorrow. It is the law school open house, which is much more than mingling and drinking punch! Two full days of stuff, including a mock class and observing a real class. I am so excited!! They even provided study materials for the mock class and I plan to review them and highlight them in multiple colors! Yes, I'm a nerd. And I am so excited to be going back to school. I can't believe how much I've missed it, given how sick of it I was when I finished my undergrad.

Also, is it wrong I'm excited about them feeding me?

Declining An Offer of Admission

2010-03-10T09:16:00.001-08:00

I have come to the point where I am officially decided, and therefore no amount of email bombardment can lure me to a different law school than the one I have chosen. So now, every time I get an email from one of the other schools I get sort of sad and frustrated. In my previous wave of applications, schools sent out little postcards early on, so you could reply back if you decided not to attend. Often, they would reply with a survey asking how you made your decision. No such luck this year, I've had to contact admissions offices directly to tell them I am not attending. Now, I could be patient and wait until it's closer to the seat deposit deadline, but every time I see an email without the Shiny Beautiful Crimson Home State University logo I get disheartened. I need this to stop. I have accepted my decision and I am excited, so I don't want to see awesome programs being flaunted in sexy email campaigns.

Ahem.

Anyway, so I sent out some emails requesting I be noted as "not attending" and hopefully the emails would stop. Nope, now they have me in their contact lists! I don't want to mark them as spam, because what if they legitimately need to contact me! ACK!!!

I could just ignore them or delete them and be a grown-up, but where's the fun in that?