Monday, September 19, 2011


Obviously Mondays are difficult. This week is especially difficult because this weekend was The Game. Our big rivalry game happens every year and since our rival is a church-owned school the game is known as The Holy War. I think that's a bit silly, because we have plenty of religious people at our school, but we're still known as "the heathens." I made sure to live up to this title with copious amounts of tequila all weekend. I was hoping I was pregnant but feeling decidedly NOT, so I decided to take the risk. I took a test last night and it was negative, although it was a bit early. I still don't think I'm pregnant, so I won't let the 10-plus margaritas make me feel guilty. It was a lot of fun, although I was beginning to feel slightly hormonal and grumpy. Looks like I'm in for a rough day tomorrow as well, assuming the Clomid is going to make my cycle a little more regular.

So why am I making you suffer by hearing about my menstrual cycle? Because I am dealing with that (and obsessing over it due to the attempts to get pregnant) AS WELL as law school.

I'm not a fan. I'm really not. In fact, I'm rethinking the whole thing altogether. Pregnant during law school? (While working two jobs and raising a toddler?) Am I completely insane? Why would I do that on purpose? Why can't men have babies?!?

Still, I feel like it's now or never, and I don't know if I want my daughter to be an only child. What to do? I would say we'll just see what happens, but dealing with things like Clomid and periods and hormones and grumpiness is really tough while managing everything else. I'm not totally convinced it's worth it.


  1. As the oldest of four siblings and the mom to a planned only child, I'm curious: why do you think being an only child is a bad thing? It's a total crap shoot if you get on with your siblings (as children or adults).

    Full disclosure: in our case, we determined we only had the emotional and financial resources for one child, and so one child is what we've had. (Also, having another one stands a good chance of killing me.)

  2. Living in Utah people have really big families. We don't feel pressured to match that of course, but because we aren't Mormon it can be tough to socialize with other kids because 80% of your friends come from people you go to church with. It was tough growing up for me, because I had to conform or I would have no one to play with. Of course as a parent I plan to be proactive and keep Abigail in activities, but it would be nice if she had a sibling so she at least had a chance of having a built-in friend.

    That said, I'm totally on board with only having one if that's what needs to happen. I'm not willing to sacrifice my bar exam or career for a baby I haven't even conceived yet. I'm thinking we'll try to plan it and if it doesn't happen when we want (and when it would work for us) we'll just stop and be done with it.

    Sidenote: We got really sad Christmas morning when we realized she'd be opening presents all alone. I don't know why, it seems silly, but we both have pretty strong memories of our siblings (even though my sister and I couldn't stand each other ) on Christmas.

  3. If you want to have a second, I say, DO IT IN LAWSCHOOL!!! If I hadn't changed jobs before getting pregnany with #2, I don't think it would have worked. I have amazing memories of having my first son in lawschool and it was so nice to have the flexibility of school (you don't get as much flexibility when you are working full time). You may have to cut back on your other activities which may cause financial stress for you but honestly, I would in a heart beat have had another child in lawschool rather than my second child in the working world.

    I decided to take a semester off from school after my first was born. It set me back but I don't regret it at all. I look back on that time as this really special, laid-back, bonding experience that I wish I could relive with all my future children.